Karen (estherchaya) wrote,

What Exactly Have I Done to Offend the Universe?

So I am giving fair warning that there is no purpose to this post beyond pure complaining and whining. I just feel like the universe is out to get me. Even ignoring all the other things going on in my life that are going to hell, but the medical issues alone that I've got going on right now are becoming overwhelming...

I still am not eating after the pregnancy from hell. No one knows why, no one can explain it. But I'm extraordinarily tired of being sick to my stomach.

I have persistent thrush (so does Tobie). If you don't know what this means and/or you've never experienced it, thank your lucky stars. It is incredibly painful (for me - uncomfortable for Tobie, but probably not painful). I'm now on a more effective treatment - here's hoping it works. Quickly.

Now I've got a high fever and severe abdominal pain. Today is day 3 of the fever and pain. No one knows why.

I have a (new to me) "very pronounced" heart murmur. Apparently new heart murmurs that surface at the same time as a high fever are sometimes really bad juju. There could be a connection, or it could just be coincidental.

I might have a kidney infection. Kidney infections are not fun - I know from experience. Well, it could be a kidney stone (but my guess is no). I haven't had one of those for a while (since I was pregnant with the triplets), so it's about time, right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. For the record, it's not like kidney stones are a lot more fun than kidney infection.

I have two broken teeth, and apparently another tooth that has cracked. One of the broken teeth isn't salvageable - it needs to be extracted, probably followed by an implant. The cost, even with insurance, is overwhelming. Never mind the time it will take to make this possible. If you have good teeth, thank your lucky stars. I've got genetics going against me, but also the fact that I grew up without flouridated water. Apparently, that's not a great idea. Flouridated water is good juju for healthy teeth.

There are several other things wrong that are TMI, but aren't quite so egregious.

I have an endoscopy scheduled for tomorrow. I now also have an echocardiogram scheduled for Friday. Bring it on.

I am tired. I am tired of the emotional turmoil that's been going on in our lives, and I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of not being a fully functional member of this family. I'm tired of not being able to carry my weight here (and my weight, if you know me personally, is not insignificant). I'm tired of having to beg my body to get up out of bed every morning.

I'm just tired. This seems to be a recurring theme in my life.
Tags: medical, tired

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