?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
Karen's Musings
Random Rambling
estherchaya
estherchaya
Tobie's Birth Story
34 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
well, the theme with the names was unintentional. We named Abby and Ellie pretty quickly, and I realized those were both West Wing characters (Abby was the First Lady, Ellie was one of the first daughters). I told Seth we'd have to be careful to avoid WW names for our son (it took a couple weeks to figure out a name for him - no joke). We avoided Joshua and Toby and CJ and Josiah (that one wasn't so difficult to avoid), etc. But I'd forgotten all about one of the central characters - Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe's character) - because he wasn't in the last few seasons. I was so proud of myself for picking a non-West Wing name and Seth broke the news to me that I hadn't actually done so. Whoops! With our latest addition, I had two rules about her name: It couldn't be an androgynous name - it had to be distinctly feminine and it couldn't be another West Wing character. I lost on both counts, not because I was forced into it, but because Tobie just is her name. Joke's on me. ;) Anyway, girls are named in the synagogue on days that the Torah is read (and we don't announce the name until they're officially given a name in the synagogue) - Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. So our original announcement wouldn't have contained the name, even if we'd managed to name her the day after she was born (but as it was, it took 8 days to pick a name!... we didn't have any boy names either, just to be clear)

Re: Seth being at the hospital - I was starting to panic that they'd rush me into surgery before I could get him there, which is why I called him. Obviously, my husband rocks and he wouldn't have waited a second longer than I told him he could, so he was at the hospital within 20 or 30 minutes of my call (considering he had to clock out at work, let his boss know what was going on, and drive from Silver Spring to Shady Grove, I was pretty impressed with his response time. :)

Yes, it was a very good friend - but when you've got four kids, what's four more? (Their kids are older for the most part, and they have a much bigger house, so the chaos is a little more manageable than it would be in our house).

Good point on the "unnatural" birth.

Regarding your friend not having the option for the VBAC, there could be a couple things at play. How long ago was her c-section and subsequent pregnancy? It used to be that the thought was that VBACs were never safe - there was historical basis for this, because c-sections used to always use a classical incision - and VBACs after classical incisions are *not* safe. Once doctors started moving to low transverse incisions, it took a while to shift the thinking to recognizing that VBACs were possible. In fact, current studies are showing that the risks associated with a VBAC after a low transverse incision are usually no more risky than the risks associated with a c-section (major surgery). In a recent NIH conference on VBAC, there was even solid evidence presented that a VBAC after multiple caesareans is also safe, with very little additional risk.

If your friend had a classical incision, a VBAC would not have been an option with most doctors (for good reason). If your friend's doctor was older, he might have been less willing to do a VBAC. If your friend was in Maryland (or any other state with abysmal tort reform legislation), then she may have had a hard time getting a doctor to perform a VBAC - malpractice insurance companies for a while made it very difficult and cost-prohibitive for doctors to attend VBACs and that's only just starting to shift. I had a hard time finding a doctor for a variety of reasons, but one of those reasons was that I didn't want to automatically get an epidural at 4cms. I was willing to accept that I may decide that I wanted an epidural (as turned out to be the case), but I wasn't willing to go in with the requirement that I get one proactively, because I didn't want to labor on my back the whole time and because epidurals suck.
allah_sulu From: allah_sulu Date: May 10th, 2010 10:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Obviously, my husband rocks

I already knew that. But don't tell him I said that.

…and he wouldn't have waited a second longer than I told him he could, so he was at the hospital within 20 or 30 minutes of my call (considering he had to clock out at work, let his boss know what was going on, and drive from Silver Spring to Shady Grove, I was pretty impressed with his response time. :)

I think it's important that the father be there. I've developed a dislike for those old TV shows from the 1940s-50s where the father sits out in the waiting room chain-smoking cigarettes until the doctor comes out and tells him "It's a boy/girl!"

Yes, it was a very good friend - but when you've got four kids, what's four more? (Their kids are older for the most part…

That helps, if the older ones can assist in looking after the younger ones. That's the only way mothers like mine could stay (relatively) (OK, slightly) (maybe) sane.

Regarding your friend not having the option for the VBAC, there could be a couple things at play. How long ago was her c-section and subsequent pregnancy?

Her first child is in high school; there's over a decade between her and her younger brothers (since my friend remarried and had the boys with someone else) so her original c-section might have been old-style. I don't know exact details. (She also had a gastric bypass way back – I usually forgot about that, since it happened before we met so I never saw her "before" – but I'm pretty sure she said it was her previous c-section that was the problem making them forbid her from delivering the boys vaginally.)

If your friend was in Maryland

Ding ding ding!

34 comments or Leave a comment