Karen (estherchaya) wrote,
Karen
estherchaya

Portraits of a Contented Life

The other day I was on my way home from dropping J off at school, and I hit a huge pile of traffic a couple miles from home. With all the snow we got earlier in the month, lanes disappear without warning, roads are closed off so that dump trucks can haul away snow, etc. It does no good to get upset about it- it's no one's fault, and there's nothing that we can do about it anyway. But try telling that to Washingtonian drivers. Sheesh. They're all there honking, making rude gestures, scowling, screaming into their cell phones about the traffic.

I'm not above all that - I admit. But having no place to be, for the most part, these days has definitely given me some ability to just roll with it. I may not be totally comfortable sitting in the car for that long, but I get far less agitated about it. Still, it seemed like I was the only one around who wasn't really angry at that moment. Until, that is, I noticed the driver on my left side. She was bopping along to whatever music she was listening to, clapping her hands, smiling wide, and belting out the lyrics with wild abandon. It's been a long time since I've seen someone enjoying life with such wild abandon - and it's really a breath of fresh air to see that.
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Yesterday, I had about an hour between when my nanny left for the day and when Seth and J got home during which I was on my own with the triplets.  I don't get a lot of time with them these days - I can't really handle being alone with them for long, and as I just don't have a lot of energy, and being too active aggravates both my hyperemesis and my tendency to have contractions.

So I sat them down with some snacks and crayons/paper.  They had a good time, but eventually, I needed to stop sitting up, so I moved to the recliner, and the triplets kept bringing me books to read to them.  They curled up in my lap and smiled and giggled and just enjoyed being kids and having Mommy all to themselves.  It was lovely.

I realized that it's been a long time since I've been able to just enjoy my children.  It was nice to be reminded that this is what it's all about.  This is why I am willing to go through this hell that is pregnancy. Because I enjoy my children.  Because I wanted all these children and this beautiful family.  This is all worth it in the end

I think it's important not to lose sight of the reason for all of this.   I love my husband.  I love the family we've created together.  I love that our adventure in parenting is moving on to a new stage.  I love my children.  My life, while not without complications, is pretty darned wonderful.
Tags: family
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