Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
Parents Say the Darndest Things - Karen's Musings
Random Rambling
Parents Say the Darndest Things
High on the list of things I never thought I would say to my four year old:

Do not lick the baby's head!

Yes, I really had to say that to Julian yesterday.

Current Mood: amused amused

21 comments or Leave a comment
eyelid From: eyelid Date: November 13th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
I could entirely see Isaac licking a baby's head.
malkaesther From: malkaesther Date: November 13th, 2007 03:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL, I suspect you may not be the first parent to say that. I have friends whose kids I can picture needing that kind of instruction.

How hard were you laughing after saying it?
drmellow From: drmellow Date: November 13th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
But babies smell so good, you just *want* to lick them!
From: warriorinside Date: November 13th, 2007 03:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
XD I nearly spit my soup. Thank you for that!
mortuus From: mortuus Date: November 13th, 2007 03:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
But the baby tastes yummy!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: November 13th, 2007 03:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
funny, that was almost exactly what Julian said to me.
batya_d From: batya_d Date: November 13th, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Babies smell SO good, and I love to smell their sweet heads. It's a fine line between inhaling the baby's yumminess and licking it.
ichur72 From: ichur72 Date: November 13th, 2007 06:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I believe it. It's still funny!
zis770 From: zis770 Date: November 13th, 2007 07:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Very cute! And he's got a point. Babies are yummy so why not.
yermie From: yermie Date: November 13th, 2007 07:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
That reminds me... have you labelled your pots yet?

From IronyCentral

Why I Got Rid Of All of My Large Pots

Having a baby around makes it much harder to manage the voices in my head. I mean, before, they just told me to do horrible things to myself and my wife. But my wife knows Tae Kwon Do and could kick my ass, and I can’t do anything painful to myself because I’m a big pussy. So that was all right.

But now I spend all of my time having internal conversations like:

Me: “Oh, hell. Did I remember to put out the diapers so the service can pick them up?”
Inner voice: “Boil the baby.”


Me: “Phew. She’s finally asleep. I can get some work done.”
Inner voice: “Boil the baby.”


Me: “I’m hungry. I sure could use a ham sandwich.”
Inner voice: “Boil the .... wait. Did you say ham?”
Me: “Mmmmm. Sandwich.”
Inner voice: “Mmmmm. Sandwich.”
Me: “Better clean this plate.”
Inner voice: “Put the baby in the dishwasher.”

But the voice in my head didn’t get its way. I wasn’t able to fit the baby in the dishwasher rack.

Fortunately, my wife is understanding. She put Post-It notes on all of our large cooking vessels. Each says, in large, clear letters, “Don’t boil the baby.” It confused my parents when they came over, so, when they asked about it, I said “What? Are you saying it’s a good idea to boil the baby?” Then they changed the subject really quickly, so I think everything is going to work out OK.

From: proudestmom Date: November 13th, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for the laugh!
yermie From: yermie Date: November 13th, 2007 09:17 pm (UTC) (Link)


I'm not affiliated with them, but they have some great stories...

It's essentially a diary of one man's interaction with his new daughter. The first "book" is "The story about the baby", and covers the first year, week by week. The second book is "The story about the toddler", and is monthly updates. So far, "the kid" (Cordelia) is almost 4, and doesn't appear to be any the worse for wear...

It's mostly safe for work, unless you work somewhere that laughter is frowned upon...

From: proudestmom Date: November 13th, 2007 09:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: IronyCentral

I will have to check it out. (I work from home)
From: proudestmom Date: November 13th, 2007 08:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! we tend to have to say funny things as mothers. Did you at least take a picture?
journeytoernie From: journeytoernie Date: November 13th, 2007 11:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
isn't it amazing what we say in our house?

i've had to say "no, only mommy steps on your brother."
hopeness From: hopeness Date: November 14th, 2007 12:03 am (UTC) (Link)
I just read an article on guidance and the author said they never thought they'd have to say "get your feet out of your sister's crackers". I say things every day like that... today, for example, I had to vow that I loved my husband more than grilled cheese.
yeishlitikvah From: yeishlitikvah Date: November 14th, 2007 04:07 am (UTC) (Link)
But Emma the baby tastes so yummy!!
hannahsarah From: hannahsarah Date: November 14th, 2007 08:13 am (UTC) (Link)
But why CAN'T he lick the baby? Is it harmful?

I have a set of "10 plagues" finger puppets, to tell the story of Passover. My daughter (2 years old at the time) got into my Passover stuff and started playing with them.

"Sweetie, can you please put the plagues back? Those are mommy's plagues, it's not time to have plagues right now. You have boils? Yes, I see that. Can you put them back now? We'll have plagues later."

Then I stopped and thought "that has got to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had".

Just the other day, I caught myself yelling "Rivka, watch what you're doing! Get your monkey out of the butter!"

She was trying to carry the butter dish to the table, and carrying her stuffed animal at the same time.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: November 14th, 2007 01:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
considering that he goes to preschool and it's RSV season? Yes, it's harmful. Plus... EW!
hipstamom From: hipstamom Date: November 14th, 2007 10:43 am (UTC) (Link)
rquintilian From: rquintilian Date: November 14th, 2007 05:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
A few weeks ago I had to say "Don't lick the dog!" to my 2 year old. I was on the phone at the time, thankfully with a good friend!
21 comments or Leave a comment