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wow - Karen's Musings — LiveJournal
Random Rambling
All it takes to get 80+ comments in my journal is to make one little triplet announcement! (admittedly, nearly half of those are my responses to comments)

Anyway, you guys are awesome. Here are some FAQs that I missed (the non-snarky version):

How are You Feeling?
I feel okay. Well, that's not true. I feel like hell, but in a good way. I'm very tired (UNBELIEVABLY, INDESCRIBABLY tired), which Seth can attest to, because a couple weeks ago he watched me almost fall asleep in a bowl of soup. I spent a long time throwing up, but the magic of Zofran made it all better. We love Zofran! Everything feels all out of whack... my hips are already completely screwy, it hurts to sit for too long, standing and walking are often impossible, laying down is my best option most of the time. But, it's all for a good cause, or so I hear, and I know that this isn't the worst it will be, so I'm trying to keep a sense of humor about it.

Are you showing?
Heck yes.

How much weight are you going to gain?
Come on, you know you want to ask it! It's the only time ever you get to ask a woman about her weight! Triplet moms are advised to gain 75-90 pounds, even if they were overweight to start. My doctor couldn't care less how many pounds I gain, as long as I'm getting a sufficient number of calories. I lost 15 pounds and have gained back 2 of them (but I keep re-losing those 2 pounds). So I haven't gained any weight, really, at this point. And I don't really care what I gain. I have carte blanche to eat all sorts of things that I normally wouldn't!

Edited to clarify: It is not my doctor who is suggesting at 75 pound weight gain. But a lot of triplet literature suggests weight gain of at least 70 pounds and up to 90. My doctor doesn't care if I don't gain a single pound, as long as I'm getting the calories and nutrition that I need. I don't expect to gain anywhere near 70 pounds, let alone 90.

Are you going to find out the sexes of the babies?
We don't plan to. The plan now is to allow that to remain a mystery. Apparently, I'm the only triplet mom-to-be that yesterday's sonographer has met who didn't want to know. I'm not really sure why, because seriously... our lives will be completely upside down come the Fall, whether they're boys, girls, or a mix of both. And honestly... there is just NOTHING normal about a triplet pregnancy. It would be nice to have one thing that we could just do the old fashioned way. I'm not entirely certain Seth agrees with me... but you know, it's my uterus. I kind of hold the key. :)

Is this an automatic ticket to a C-section?
Yep. It sure is. 90% of triplet pregnancies are delivered via c-section. I'm not being given an option, and I am not sure I'd want to risk having the option anyway. The only thing I'm mighty pissed off about is the needle in my spinal column. I'm not needlephobic, but I DO NOT WANT A NEEDLE IN MY SPINAL COLUMN. And you can all tell me how it's not as bad as I think it will be, but it won't help. I know it's not that bad. I know that lots of women do it without any problem. I know it's an irrational fear. But being irrational, rational reassurance isn't actually going to help. I certainly have accepted that I WILL be getting an epidural, but I definitely don't have to love the idea.

Where are you going to put them?
Uh, I was thinking they were doing just fine in my uterus, thankyouverymuch. Oh. You meant AFTER they're born. I imagine they'll spend some time in the NICU. After that, I hear the hospitals don't like to keep babies around for too long, so we'll have to take them home and then the hard part starts ("what do you mean, I have to parent them?? Wasn't the hard part growing them?"). Yeah. We've got a three bedroom house. Babies (especially preemies) are small. There is no good reason why we can't fit two adults, four kids, and two cats in a four bedroom house. We are spoiled Americans, but we are also pragmatic. We can't afford to move. We will simply give up our guest room.

Will you be a stay at home mom?
We can't afford for me to be a SAHM. So I will return to work at some point. "At some point" is as yet undefined, because we don't know whether the babies will spend any significant time in the NICU and what kind of care they will need and so on. I will note that working parents are still full-time parents. And I've not decided to "let someone else raise my children" just for my own convenience. I was thinking my kids might like to eat someday. there are lots of good arguments on both side of the fence on this one, but this is obviously not up for debate. I now am acquainted with a pretty large number of triplet moms and some of them work and some of them don't. They all make it work for them.

Does this mean you're done having kids?
Not necessarily. It's logical to think that, of course. And it would probably be financially most responsible to not have any more kids. But we're not willing to completely shut out the possibility of another child after these. One thing is clear... we certainly can't think that far in the future just yet! First we have to get these babies to September! So who knows?

There are more, but that's enough. Thanks everyone for all your kind words!


302 comments or Leave a comment
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marag From: marag Date: May 4th, 2007 05:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
For the record, I was drop dead *terrified* of the epidural. I am very needlephobic and I was too scared for words of the whole thing.


I told the anesthesiologist that if I weren't already married, I'd ask him to marry me. Best. Feeling. Ever.

I hear the epidural is a little scarier if you get it early in the process when you're not in pain. If you show up at the hospital screaming, it's not scary at all ;)

Seriously, though, please let me know about any baby stuff you're looking for (clothes, swings, whatever) and I'll pass the word on to my playgroup and see what people are trying to get rid of.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 05:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm not needlephobic at all. I don't like things messing with my spinal column. What if they miss? Ack! More importantly, I am terrified of not having any feeling in my lower half. I had a TIA/stroke-thing when I was 23 and it has left me with a tremendous fear of not being able to make my body parts move when I tell them to. I hate having that control taken away from me.

As for baby stuff... honestly? I don't even KNOW what we need!
tigerbright From: tigerbright Date: May 4th, 2007 05:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
It all sounds quite sensible, and I'm glad everything is going well!

My cousin Lauren had triplets (who are now high school graduates) as well as an older child; I can put you two in touch to discuss triplet parenting, if you would like.
tigerbright From: tigerbright Date: May 4th, 2007 05:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
PS. I hated getting the epidural, but I hated it slipping out and having to be redone even worse. Make sure that when they lie you down, they don't put you in a position where it could slip out!
archgirl06 From: archgirl06 Date: May 4th, 2007 05:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
ailsaek From: ailsaek Date: May 4th, 2007 05:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
What she said!!!
zis770 From: zis770 Date: May 4th, 2007 05:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
75-90 lbs??? I was 140 lbs at the beginning of my pg which is about 10-15 lbs overweight. The peri advised me to gain 35 lbs and I ate up lots of high fat food. Maybe because our situations were different that's what the doctor is advising but that still seems like a LOT of weight to me. (for those who don't know I have 9 month old triplets)

you've got a 3 bedroom house or a 4 bedroom house? Either way unless every room is teensy you can do it. I live in NYC in a 3 bedroom apartment and we're doing fine. And with a house you always get more room and extras which us apartment people don't really get. You suburban people are spoiled with space [;

estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 05:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Like I said, my doctor himself doesn't give two hoots how much weight I gain or don't gain, as long as I'm getting the calories I need (I'm not, but I'm working on it). But a LOT of the literature recommends weight gain (regardless of where you started) for triplets of at least 70 pounds. It's ridiculous. And many of the sources basically tell you that you don't care about your unborn children if you don't take weight gain seriously. Whatever.

We have a three bedroom house. It will be fine. The rooms are not teeney. We have a lot of storage space which makes things a lot easier. I'm not worried about space. Lots of other people keep thinking we SHOULD be worried about space, but I know we have more than enough room. We might just have to get rid of junk.
farfalla_dolce From: farfalla_dolce Date: May 4th, 2007 05:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just cannot convey how ecstatic I am for you! Every time I see you post, I get all excited to know what is going on. I am just in awe of it all. How is J taking the news? (I hope that is not too personal) and again Congrats!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 05:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
J doesn't understand it, really. We haven't discussed it at length with him because he's so young. But yesterday I told him babies were on the way, because we were out looking at a triplet stroller and he wanted to know why. And he said, "Babies! We're going to have babies! And they're going to sleep in their cribs like babies do and I'm going to sleep in my big boy bed because I'm a big boy, right?" Too cute!
ginamariewade From: ginamariewade Date: May 4th, 2007 05:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hi! I meant to comment on the other thread, but my browser messed it up.

I AM SO HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR YOU!!! (See, there's an exclamation mark for each baby.)

I understand what you mean about needing to work outside the home, but have you considered what day care for 4 kids under 5 is going to cost? It might be more economically feasible to stay home!
(But I'll support your decision either way.)

Again, I'm SO HAPPY FOR YOU! and I will keep you in my prayers.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 06:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! We're excited (but nervous). :)

As for working, daycare is probably not an option as it would be hard to find a daycare with three infant openings, and I wouldn't want to split them up (too complicated). An au pair or nanny is a more likely option. Au Pairs are less than $200/week, but of course live-in with you... a nanny would probably be about $600-700 per week. I make more than that. We've definitely considered the cost of daycare/nanny, but no matter how the numbers are run, I make more than I'll be spending on childcare, by enough that it's worth me having to work.
journeytoernie From: journeytoernie Date: May 4th, 2007 06:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
75-90 lbs! AWESOME!!!! i know that's bad of me to say but CHA CHING!

and epidurals are scary no matter how many you've had. especially if you know what it is....which is why i refuse to learn about them.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 06:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
I should clarify and say that's what a lot of the literature suggests. HOWEVER, my doctor doesn't care about actual poundage. And I don't expect to gain anywhere near that amount.
arosoff From: arosoff Date: May 4th, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm gonna be honest... the epidural was the easiest part of my section :-) It really didn't hurt, and I don't have a great back (they couldn't do a combined spinal/epidural). it was somewhat surreal, the anaesthetist and I were discussing ER while he stuck this needle in my back. It really helps that you can't see anything!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
honestly, it's not just the needle... it's the loss of control. I had a TIA/stroke when I was 23 and the scariest thing in the world to me is sitting there TELLING my leg to move but not being able to make it happen.
mrn613 From: mrn613 Date: May 4th, 2007 06:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
bshaah tovah x3!!! sorry I couldn't seem to load the previous post up properly, so I didn't comment there.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 06:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
funny. You're not the first person to report that problem, but I'm having no problems loading that page and there's no funky html in it. Some people have suggested it's because there are so many comments, but I've seen posts with more comments than I've got, and not had any problems. How unbelievably odd.

At any rate, thank you very much. :)
debsters1101 From: debsters1101 Date: May 4th, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
I didn't get a chance to comment yesterday, wanted to tell you how excited I am for you... my jaw dropped when I read that!!! Hope everything goes well and that everything is in a bshaah tovah umuzlachas... Enjoy the pregnancy! (if u can!!)
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 06:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! So far, so good.
(Deleted comment)
arosoff From: arosoff Date: May 4th, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
not quite. The spinal can't be topped up, but takes effect immediately. The epidural takes longer to work but they can top it up. So what they like to do (at least here) is the combined spinal-epidural, so they get the benefits of both.

What you're thinking of is the mobile epidural, where some feeling is left. For C-sections they do a full epidural (different combination of drugs) so you're totally numb.

And yeah, it is weird being completely numb from the chest down... no tips for you on that one!
(Deleted comment)
real_bethy From: real_bethy Date: May 4th, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Do we get to see pictures of you with your belly full of babies? I hope so!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 10:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Definitely not.
allah_sulu From: allah_sulu Date: May 4th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was thinking my kids might like to eat someday. there are lots of good arguments on both side of the fence on this one, but this is obviously not up for debate.

Peg Bundy ("Married... With Children") used to warn her kids, whenever they wanted to eat, that food led to food poisoning.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 10:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think that's a very fine point.
pocketnaomi From: pocketnaomi Date: May 4th, 2007 08:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
What does J. think of the Invasion of the Multiple Siblings? Does he know?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 10:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
He doesn't really get it. I'm okay with that.
mindycl From: mindycl Date: May 4th, 2007 09:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
dont worry about the needle... it's a one time shot, and your numbed before that. IT's not like an epidural that's hanging out of you. Youd rather be awake for the delivery, you dont want general anesthesia!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 4th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's not the needle per se. You're correct I don't want general anesthesia. It's not a question of something hanging out of me, it's a question of not wanting a needle ever to get within 5 feet of my spinal column. Ever. More importantly, the thought of not being able to feel or move my lower half is terrifying to me. I had a TIA/stroke when I was 23 and the most terrifying thing about it was that I could look at my leg and TELL it to move, but couldn't make it happen. That was absolutely horrifying. There's no doubt that I'll have the spinal or epidural/spinal combo. There's no doubt that I'll get over myself. It doesn't change the fact that the very thought of it makes me decidedly unhappy.
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