Karen (estherchaya) wrote,
Karen
estherchaya

Is it Good Things or Bad Things that Come in Threes?

I remember always hearing that things come in threes. Some peeople believe GOOD things come in threes. Some people believe that BAD things come in threes. Certainly if you look hard enough you can find enough things that can be lumped into multiples of threes, both good and bad. Certainly I can think of a lot of good things that come in threes... Larry, Curly & Moe. The Three Tenors. Sex, Drugs, and Rock N' Roll (okay, just kidding).

While I admit that there are plenty of good things that don't come in threes and that it's a construct we create for ourselves when we say things happen in threes... I sure do hope that good things do, in fact, come in threes.

Because apparently(G-d Willing) I'm going to have a lot of things in threes soon... three months of bed rest, three high chairs, three car seats, three cribs, three babies...

Yep. I'm pregnant with triplets. I tried to hide it for a while, but as osewalrus noted to his brother and sister-in-law yesterday, I'm not hiding it so well. Apparently, if you're pregnant with triplets, things grow three times as fast in the beginning, so yeah. Not so much with hiding it. Since most of the people I see on a regular basis are fully aware of the current State of the Cohens, it made sense to out myself on LJ.

So, today I went in for a super-duper-ultra-awesome ultrasound to check and see if there seemed to be any possible indicators that we should consider further invasive chromosomal testing. But everything looked great. The little parasites are all growing perfectly. They all have strong heartbeats. They're already exhibiting personalities (the troublemakers, babies A and C, clearly take after their father... the cooperative, perfect baby B clearly takes after me). So no further testing needed at this time.

You probably have some questions and here are a couple of the most common ones answered for your convenience:

Was this "natural" or IVF/IUI/Fertility Treatments?
The real answer to that question is that it's none of anyone's business. I certainly haven't asked anyone what position they were in when they conceived their child, and asking me a question like that is pretty much the same as asking about my sex life. However, given that I've not been terribly closed-mouthed about the need to have some assistance in that realm, and given that I do know some folks read this blog who might (unfortunately) need such information or support, I will say that while I believe that ALL pregnancies are "natural", yes, we did seek fertility treatment.

OMG! How could you have been so irresponsible? Didn't you know it's dumb to put that many eggs back?
Why yes, I did know that if I'd been doing IVF considering my specific issues it would have been inadvisable to transfer 3 embryos. But if you're asking a question like that, you've clearly not been down this road before. Everyone's situation is different. Everyone has different choices to make based on their own history and circumstances. In our case, we did not do IVF, we did IUI. I was very carefully monitored, a judgment call was made by a team of truly excellent doctors, and it turned out to be the wrong side of the gamble. So here I am.

Why are you telling people? Aren't you worried you'll jinx it?
At this point, I'm in my second trimester. Things are looking as good as they're going to. Everything is terrific. Yes, I could still have a loss. I could lose one or all of them. I firmly believe that if such a loss is going to happen, it's going to happen, regardless of how many people know. I also firmly believe that if I have a loss, what I'm going to want is the support of my friends and family. I'd much rather have that support than suffer alone because I told no one.

When are you due?
This is basically irrelevant, since I'll never make it that far. Suffice it to say, assuming all goes well, the babies will come out in September sometime.

Why don't you just reduce?
Because it's just not that simple. Aside from the halachic issues (halacha is the body of Jewish law), there are medical issues to consider as well. When you look at reduction from quads, quints, sextuplets and more, medically speaking, the answer is clear. But the risk/benefit ratio with triplet reduction is less clear. Yes, I will have a high risk pregnancy (though I should note that even twin pregnancies are considered high risk pregnancies). But we've very carefully weighed our options with our doctors (we have many now), our rabbi, and some close friends. It's a very difficult issue to consider and I hope that none of you ever have to consider it. That being said, our decision is not up for debate, nor will I listen to people telling me that it was morally or ethically wrong to have considered it in the first place. I have some very specific medical conditions that made it prudent to consider reduction among our options, and our rabbi agreed with us. If any of you find you have need (or even dire curiosity) for more details on what went into our decision-making process, I'll be happy to discuss it in detail privately.

That's enough for now, I think. It's pretty nifty, overall, but unbelievably terrifying. It took us weeks upon weeks to come to terms with the fact that this isn't just a cruel joke and I really am pregnant. With triplets. Seriously.
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