I know this doesn't come as a huge shocker, but I've been sick. I was out of work for the better part of a week after having gotten Seth's cold and had it turn into bronchitis. I get bronchitis every year, but I don't remember it taking this much out of me before. I just couldn't keep my eyes open. At all. I missed a deadline at work, but it was because my client told me to go home and not worry about it, so I don't feel too badly. It will still get done, just a few days too late. I'm getting better now, but definitely lower energy than I'd like to be. Particularly since I'm single-parenting this week. What's that, you say? Right. This brings me to my next topic:
My darling husband has abandoned me. For five days. I should be thrilled that he doesn't do this to me very often, and I guess I am thrilled about that. Anyway, he's at the Mid-Year convention for the American Society for Health Systems Pharmacists. In Anaheim, CA. Oh, I feel so bad for the poor baby who is stuck in California this week. Gosh, the sympathy is just oozing out of me right now. Well, anyway, I don't mind him going. I just wish the timing had been different. I've got a lot to make up at work, and I'm going to be hard pressed to get it all done, since I have to be available for both drop off and pick up for Julian this week, which means I can't put in any extra hours. Oh well. I wish I could say I had a fun-filled week planned to help Julian get past the whole "Abba isn't here" thing, but I don't. He's seeing my mother today and Seth's mother tomorrow night, so hopefully that will help. I should find some activities to do in the evening Tuesday and Wednesday, but short of grocery shopping, I'm not sure there's time.
I seem to have lost my Shabbos-fu. I hope it's just that I'm sick. But I couldn't bring myself to cook anything this week, so Seth got me Chinese food from David Chus and we had that for Shabbos Dinner, Shabbos Lunch AND seudah shlishit. Next week will be more interesting though, as Shabbos is the day after caryabend's birthday, and we're having the Abensons and the Friedmans as company.
I did do something somewhat miraculous last Shabbos and this shabbos, though... I made it to shul. Twice! Last Shabbos we had Beth here and she and I went Friday night while Seth (who wasn't feeling well) stayed home with Julian (who was sleeping, because he, too, wasn't feeling great). It was a little weird showing my face in shul, but it was nice because hardly any women go on Friday night, so I didn't have to deal with anyone's cattiness. Then yesterday I sent Seth to hashgama at 7:15 and at 8:45 Julian and I went up to shul to daven Musaf. I've been trying to give Julian a little more exposure to shul, but I can't take him to the main minyan because people get all snarky if Julian so much as breathes loud (it interrupts their gossiping, you see). I don't like taking Julian to "Torah Time" (which is for 2-5 year olds) because he learns bad behaviours there (seriously, I appreciate that they are tolerant of the fact that Julian would rather run around the room than sit nicely with the other kids... but I don't want him learning that this kind of behaviour is appropriate in shul... or anywhere else for that matter). This has left me in a bit of a conundrum because it means few options for Julian on Shabbos with regards to shul.
So yesterday was an experiment. I hate going to Hashgama because there are like maybe 2 women that show up and they shove a mechitza in the tiniest part of the room, but the only way to get over to the mechitza is to squeeze through a sea of davening men. This certainly seems like it is inappropriate for me to do. But on the other hand... they are the ones that have forced the women to take that path, having put the mechitza where they did, so I'm not sure HOW badly I feel about it. But the point, is, I feel irritated by it, and uncomfortable. And intrusive. And awkward. You name it. I hate it. So Seth was under orders to come outside of the room and get us as soon as the Rav was done talking (he was talking when we arrived). Seth came out, brought me a siddur, and took Julian over to where he was davening, and I dashed over to the women's "section" without looking back. And Julian was REALLY GOOD for all of Musaf! So perhaps we will repeat this experiment. IF Seth continues to go to hashgama. That's a big "if" but we'll see. I don't think Julian would be quite so well behaved behind the mechitza since it's kind of boring (from a three year old's perspective) over there. Just a couple squished little chairs and very few people to look at. I don't think me taking him without Seth there would be terribly wise. But I can experiment.
Speaking of Julian
He's really cute. For a reason. Hashem made sure he was super-cute because otherwise Julian would have no hopes of seeing his fourth birthday. He is whiny, emotionally labile, and prone to enormous fits if he perceives that he isn't getting his way in all things. But... still... he's very funny. He is addicted to the Cars movie and wants all toys related to Cars to be his. He was so thrilled to see his grandparents on Turkey Day... not because he missed them, but because they brought him a big Lightning McQueen toy. One that makes lots of noise. Hooray for him. He does amuse quite easily, though, so it's usually easy to distract him from being a whiny boy. He's quite the conversationalist and loves to talk on the phone to whoever will listen. His first question for everyone is, "Will you come to my house and play with me and bring me lightning mcqueen and chick hicks, please?" He's very funny.
Unfortunately, right now he's not feeling well. He's got the same cough/cold that Seth and I passed back and forth, but Julian refuses to take any form of medicine. EVER. Not even the meltaway strips that triaminic makes that don't taste bad at all! (they taste like cherry candy! Really!) If you manage to get even a little medicine into Julian, he throws it up. On purpose. I'm not kidding. He will sit there making gagging noises until he throws up and then will look up defiantly. And he would feel SO MUCH BETTER if he would just take the medicine! Thank heavens this child is not generally sick and doesn't chronically need medicine. Most infuriatingly, his nanny can get him to take tylenol with a simple bribe. But I offered him soda, six marshmallows, chocolate, and candy to take medicine and he STILL refused. The little rat. Ahem.
Anyway, check out the cuteness:
Those are the latest pages that are up. There will be one more to go up, but my computer (which has the other pictures that need to be posted) is en route to Anaheim right now, so there's not much I can do about it right now. I had Seth take my computer because it's smaller and easier to carry around. So I'm stuck using his monster of a computer. I am really appreciating his monster-huge monitor on his laptop, though. It's making me resent this enormous excuse for a laptop a little less.
Work is alternatingly good and irritating. The truth is, I don't love it, but it's good work and I'm getting good experience. Sometimes I wish I could go back and re-write my career path from the start and do something completely different. But since I can't, this job is as good as any, I suppose. I hope someday we can afford for me to take a serious pay cut so I can change careers, but until then, this will do.
That's all for now. I hope you are all well.