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Elevator Etiquette - Karen's Musings
Random Rambling
Elevator Etiquette
There are a lot of elevators in my building. From the parking garage (or the lobby), you take an elevator to the so-called-1st-floor of the building (even though there's a lobby level and two mezzanine levels before you get to the "1st" floor). There is a bank of 5 elevators which will carry you to your destination. Anyway, you take an elevator to the first floor where there are metal detectors and guards and all that security stuff.

Once through security, you walk to a second set of elevators (this time, a bank of 6 elevators), and take those to your destination floor. (I think there are 14 floors, but I may be incorrect). So I have to take 2 elevators from a choice of 11 possible elevators to get to my floor.

The elevators in this building are great; they're fast, they're responsive. I almost never wait more than 15-20 seconds for an elevator to come when I press the call button. In fact, more often than not, the elevator dings and opens before I get a chance to push the call button.

I'm saying all this to illustrate that it's not like we've got only one elevator that people have to fight for space on for all 14 floors. So please, people, bear in mind some elevator etiquette:
  • If, when the elevator arrives, people are getting off the elevator, please step aside while they exit the elevator. I promise, the elevator will still be there when they have finished exiting. Blocking their exit will only delay you further.
  • If a large group of people gets on the elevator all at once kindly press the button for your floor and step back so the next person on may do the same. If you prefer to stand by the door after pushing your floor's button, please don't get all pissy when someone asks you to press a button for their floor. No, you're not an elevator man, but if you're blocking the panel, you can hardly blame someone for not being rude enough to shove you out of the way.
  • If the full elevator opens at a floor that someone in the back of the elevator needs to get off at, kindly step aside and allow that person to exit. Yes, if it's necessary, step off the elevator, slightly to the side and allow the person to exit before reentering the elevator. It's not going to take off without you.
  • If you're riding the elevator with a friend or colleague, you may wish to reconsider your topic of conversation when a stranger steps into the elevator with you. For example, discussing sensitive gov't information (even sensitive but unclassified information) may be unwise. Similarly, this may not be the most opportune time to discuss your hemorrhoid problem.
Does anyone else have any good elevator etiquette advice?

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Current Mood: aggravated aggravated

7 comments or Leave a comment
ginamariewade From: ginamariewade Date: December 29th, 2005 09:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Don't fart.
happyduck1979 From: happyduck1979 Date: December 29th, 2005 09:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

Had to repost this... what not to do!

Incadentally, my little brother has done a bunch of these. It really is highly ammusing ot watch!

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
One word: Flatulence!
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Meow occassionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
Leave a box between the doors.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
Play the harmonica.
Shadow box.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Lean against the button panel.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Bring a chair along.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
Blow spit bubbles.
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
eyelid From: eyelid Date: December 29th, 2005 09:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
In elevator: Don't talk to me unless we're good friends or something. I hate forced chatter. Just leave me alone.
either_or From: either_or Date: December 29th, 2005 10:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
this was what i was going to say, too. i *despise* obligatory small talk.
yermie From: yermie Date: December 29th, 2005 10:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
This one works only if you're male...

Stand at the front of the elevator (by the doors). Pose suggestively. When the doors close, scream (in pain).

yermie From: yermie Date: December 29th, 2005 10:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
On second thought, it might work just as well for a woman...

It'd really make people wonder, especially if it's not your "chest" that would have gotten caught...
mysticchyna From: mysticchyna Date: January 4th, 2006 02:58 am (UTC) (Link)
i got some advise, don't fart in an elevator. yup. lol
7 comments or Leave a comment