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vindication - Karen's Musings
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estherchaya
estherchaya
vindication
Child psychologist says that biting is a normal stage. Not a good stage, and not something to tolerate or overlook, but a normal stage. Most, she says, if not all, kids go through it for a short period. She suggested immediate time outs (we do that) and coordinating with the school to ensure that we are addressing the issue the same way.


Bah.

I'm also buying 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 at Lis' suggestion.

And I need a potty training book. For me, not for him. Suggestions of books or online reading welcome. I don't promise to use your proven method (every kid is different, whether you'd like to acknowledge that or not, so not all solutions are appropriate for all kids). I have no interest in potty training this kid right now. But he's practically begging to use the potty so I can't put it off any longer.

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Current Mood: intimidated intimidated

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Comments
cleobatya From: cleobatya Date: October 6th, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
i used to bite my brother all the time. :D
ginamariewade From: ginamariewade Date: October 6th, 2005 09:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
We didn't use a book for potty training. We just kind of played it by ear. The daycare encouraged it. Peer pressure encouraged it. That might be what's going on with J., since he's going to preschool now - Big Boys use the potty, babies use diapers, and of course he wants to be a Big Boy.
We used Scooby Doo real underwear as an incentive as well.
bluejeanjexy From: bluejeanjexy Date: October 6th, 2005 09:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
And I need a potty training book. For me, not for him.

Teeheehee.
(Deleted comment)
eyelid From: eyelid Date: October 6th, 2005 10:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Doing the 1-2-3 thing really works on Isaac. I have no idea why. I barely ever even make it to two before he is behaving.
kressel From: kressel Date: October 7th, 2005 12:24 am (UTC) (Link)



Hmm. That 1-2-3 book looks interesting.

I trained my kids with Toilet Training in Less than A Day, but the promise of the title only worked with my youngest. It may be because that was the only time I really stuck to the instructions of the book, which was to give the kid a doll so he can "train" it. With the older ones, first totime, I hunted around for male dolls, didn't find any, and tried to without. It took longer than a day, with both, believe me.

But with my youngest, it really did work in less than a day. But other factors must have played in, too. I waited until a few weeks before his third birthday, as opposed to a few weeks after the second, like you're doing. Age does help. Also, I read another book when I did him: Toilet Training Without Tears, which is all about keeping up your attitude. (This is one messy job!) And perhaps, it just went faster because youngest is, k'naina hara, very sweet-natured and pretty docile.

In any case, hatzlacha rabba!

fheyd From: fheyd Date: October 7th, 2005 01:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Most of this discussion is way outta my league, but biting i remember. I bit my sister - she bit me back - i stopped biting people. I bit my cousin (not hard mind you) after she bit me, and she stopped biting. It worked on DJ as well, so that's a more recent example. The idea that it actually hurts the person who gets bitten seems to go a long way.

I know, i know, harsh, cruel reality to teach a child of tender years a simple lesson - i can already hear the southerner/redneck comments - but it did work for me.
kmelion From: kmelion Date: October 7th, 2005 04:28 am (UTC) (Link)
I wouldn't recommend books....they'd just drive you nuts.

A bit of soap in the mouth might cure him of biting though.

The only way kids potty train is if they want it. If he wants it, go for it. Summertime is generally the best time, since often, the kid will end up bare-assed naked, so they HAVE to go to the potty.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 7th, 2005 06:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
He definitely is interested in the potty. I'm just less interested in the stress of dealing with potty training. I should suck it up.
malkin From: malkin Date: October 7th, 2005 10:08 am (UTC) (Link)
I bit things, and not people. I apparently gnawed quite an impressive swath through the side of my crib.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 7th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're like Sunny in the Lemony Snickett books!
From: have_inner_lady Date: October 7th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
My potty training method with Rafael was "try everthing and get frustrated when none of it works."

If Julian is begging to use the toilet, why isn't he just doing it?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 7th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
mostly because we don't have a kid sized potty for him. And although he knows how to take his diaper off, he doesn't always realize that he has to do that in order to use the potty or vice versa.

By begging, I should add that he's simply displaying certain behaviours that indicate he could handle some toilet training. I hate the idea of toilet training anyway. Either the kid is ready or they're not and I don't want to stress him out because my expectations get too high.

But he tells me when his diaper is full (or filling, for lack of a more tactful way of putting that). He knows what the potty is, loves to barge in on us and will declare loudly what it is that we are DOING on the potty... "Eewee peepee!", and loves to flush the toilet. What he probably doesn't have yet is the ability to anticipate the need to use the potty, but I assume that sort of is part and parcel of the whole toilet training thing.

I dunno. I guess we should just suck it up.
From: have_inner_lady Date: October 7th, 2005 07:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
[laughing] Yeah, it is rather embarrassing when they do that.

I don't see where it'd be stressing him out. If he has the opportunity -- but not the obligation -- he can learn at his own pace what works and get praised when it's done right.

I regret I've never heard any way to help a child anticipate the need. However, plain cotton underwear would him know very clearly that he's wet himself; I think diapers are so absorbent that they don't always know. Maybe that's why most kids potty-train on #2 first.
vvalkyri From: vvalkyri Date: October 12th, 2005 01:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm told that the pull-ups are deliberately designed to feel kinda damp rather than pull all the moisture away.

I'm also amused: this post was on 10/6; The NYTimes had an article about early potty training on 10/9, and an op-ed about it yesterday.

Estherchaya: I see you on Weirdjews a lot, but I actually followed Malkin just now.
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