October 12th, 2006

Seth and Karen

from the bad comes the good

So this week, as I'm sure you can all imagine, has basically sucked. But lest you think I'm doing nothing but wallowing... oh wait, I'm pretty much doing nothing but wallowing. Nevermind. Right. But there are some bright spots that I want to call attention to:

First and foremost... Sheri pointed out to me that it sucks horribly, but it's good for Seth and me to go through this together. It's easy to get through simchas together, but going through the hard parts of life is what cements a marriage. So sucky... yes, but also important. She's right. I know this isn't only my loss, but also Seth's. And I know it's probably more real for me than anyone, but it can't be easy for him either. Even so, he's been my constant source of strength and honesty for the better part of the 7 years and this past week has been no exception.

Second, a few of you know how hard it was for me to choose an OB for my care. I was resentful of all the doctors that were involved in getting me to that point in the first place and I was nervous about establishing a trusting rapport with yet another doctor. I wasn't sure I'd ever be happy, or if I'd always wonder what if I'd chosen a different doctor. My experience with my OB in the short time I've known him has given me more certainty than I'd ever expected to have that he is exactly the right doctor for me. Not everyone has that luxury. I know that OBs probably get a lot of thank you notes and baby pictures and fun stuff. But I doubt they receive a lot of acknowledgement for their care when things don't go right. For this reason, I drafted a letter today to send to my OB explaining to him exactly why it is that his careful management of my needs was so meaningful for me. It's on the long side and may contain a bit of TMI, so don't feel obligated to read it, but I'm recording it here for at least my own benefit, only slightly edited to remove names and such.

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