October 11th, 2006


insult to injury

I called to make an appointment with my fertility specialist. I trust my OB and I know he'll be very aggressive in trying to determine the cause of the miscarriage, but I also know RE's and OB's sometimes look at different sides of a problem, so I want to make sure they're communicating with each other. I don't want my OB running a battery of tests and then three months later having the RE say, "why wasn't this test run?" I don't want two rounds of testing. I want it over with. I want to know what the next step is, even if the next step is "do nothing." I love my fertility specialist. She always treats me like I'm the only person on her mind; she remembers random things about my life; she listens and considers her answers to my questions carefully, and she asks appropriate questions.

She is also, apparently, on leave for at least three months. I hope everything is okay. I don't know why she's on leave, but she didn't mention it when I saw her a few weeks ago, so I'm guessing it was rather sudden. I'm worried about her, but my selfish self is, well, being selfish. I want her, not some substitute!

I have an appointment with another doctor in the practice, a doctor I have a lot of respect for and whose opinion I trust. In fact, there's only one doctor at that office that I don't care for, so I really had my pick of a lot of really good doctors. Dr. S. has been in the business a long time, he's the best of the best in a lot of ways. He's funny and smart and he listens to me when I see him for monitoring appointments and I know he'll be a fine subsitute. I always knew if I hadn't been originally scheduled with Dr. T, that I would have been very happy with Dr. S. But he's not her. And he doesn't know me. And I'm a lot more than what's in my chart. So my selfish self is pleased to have such a fun, amazing substitute who knows the field as well as anyone else, but sad to not have Dr. T to turn to right now.

Mostly, I just want to know where to go from here, in as prudent a fashion as necessary, and I want input from both sides of the fence (OB/RE sides), so seeing Dr. S. is fine. I just hope I don't end up feeling like I'm starting from scratch.