Karen (estherchaya) wrote,

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I just read something on an online foster/adoption forum that just pisses me off. I do so hope I'm interpreting it the wrong way.
We have adopted three Jewish children (identical twins and a single) all with special needs. They are our "virtual triplets" as they are all 3 years old now. (Ironically, the children were all IVF pregnancies, by the way.)

I encourage anyone interested in adopting to consider a child with special needs.

Now it took me a while to figure this out. This woman adopted three Jewish children. Got it. I understand that part. The three Jewish children were conceived through IVF. Got it. Wait. No, that doesn't make any sense. If you've gone through the trouble of IVF... and by trouble I mean emotional rollercoasters, hormone injections, time off work for the actual procedure, uncertainty, hope, pregnancy, not to mention about $15-30K on average... why, oh WHY would someone give the children up??

Oh. Right.
I missed that part: "Special Needs"

This infuriates me. You go through all that trouble to have a baby. You spend ALL that money to have a baby. You dedicate yourself to the rollercoaster that is fertility treatment. For what? To say, "Oh, I'm sorry, that baby isn't good enough, please take her away" in the end????

Now I do realize that maybe after all that someone just doesn't feel like they CAN take care of a special needs baby. But ... WTF?? Under most circumstances, most people I know who have a normal, non-assisted pregnancy would not give up their baby if it turned out to be "special needs" when it's born. But if you enter into fertility treatment as extensive and invasive as IVF, I would THINK that you'd be prepared (indeed, thrilled!) to have any pregnancy. Seriously. I'm not saying I'm strong enough to go out there looking for a special needs baby to adopt. I'm not. But if Hashem blessed me with pregnancy tomorrow and my child was born with a disability of any sort, I would do everything in my power for that child. Just as I would for any other child in my care.

*argh* I think I'm going to be ill.
Tags: parenting

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