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snarkiness - Karen's Musings
Random Rambling
I got an obnoxious, unprofessional, grammatically-poor email from a recruiter today. I could have ignored it, but I decided to be snarky instead. He wrote:
Hello Karen
I have a Tech Writer position available [some dollar amount]hr starts ASAP. Let me know if interested.

Random Recruiter
Technical Account Manager
Some Staffing, Inc.
Work: 301.xxx.xxxx
Fax: 301.xxx.xxxx
"We build relationships that build your company"

Now, here's the thing. I am unimpressed by this email. I am, in fact, turned off of any possibility of wanting to work with this person. Should I have just deleted the email? Sure. But that would have ruined my fun. My only regret was that I was a little bit drugged (yay for codeine) so I wasn't nearly as coherent or grammatically correct as I'd like to have been:
Random Recruiter,
First, I prefer when recruiters identify how they found my name and resume when they contact me.
Second, I am a computer security consultant, so I'd need to know how exactly my skills apply to tech writing in this particular position.
Third, I make quite a bit more per hour than you are offering at this time.
Finally, it is good to identify whether positions are full or part time, and long or short term, and in what geographic area they are when contacting potential recruits.

Suffice it to say, I was not especially impressed with your email and it would not have enticed me to pursue employment through you had I been actively looking for a position at this time. I'm sorry for my bluntness, but I wish you more success in the future. This is, in part, my fault as I suspect I have a profile somewhere that hasn't been updated in some time, but I can't rectify that situation if I don't know where you found me.

Karen Cohen

Now, I wish that I'd pointed out that it is beneath me to work with someone who can't even construct whole sentences in an introductory email. Considering the snarky email he sent back to me, I'm sort of sorry I wasn't blunter about his stupidity (emphasis his, not mine):
Thanks for the reply, I do have an old copy of your resume so I figured the position was BENEATH you at this point in your career. If you wish you can send me your resume and I can send you better potential matches. It does not hurt to have an updated resume in our files, you never know who we are working with and what positions come available.
Thanks again

While I admit that it's generally bad form to burn bridges in one's professional network, I was so decidedly unimpressed with this person's grasp of my resume and of the English language, that I'm not particularly sorry the bridge is in flames right now. Obviously, I'll simply delete this email and ignore future correspondence from him. The fact is, I only have my resume posted in one place that he could have nabbed it, and I absolutely KNOW that at the time I posted it, I was looking for computer security positions, NOT tech writing positions. The last time I was looking for a tech writing position (out of sheer desperation at the time...I am not and never have been a tech writer) was four years ago.

I keep all recruiting emails I've gotten, and I've never received anything from him or anyone in his company, so it's not like they just still had it on file from four years ago when they tried to find a match for me. My resume DOES include a section of technical writing skills, but the objective and experience summary make it quite clear that I was looking for a position as an information security analyst.

And, um, really? I'm not looking for a job right now. I like my job; they pay me well, I'm not overstressed, I've got good upward mobility and I like my management chain. I even like my client, which is a pretty amazing thing. So no, I'm not looking for a job change. But if I was, this guy is last on my list to help find me a job.

Edited to Add: I meant to add some snarkiness about the tagline on his signature file: "We build relationships that build your company." Clearly, he's doing a lousy job building relationships, so I'd hate to think what he'd do if he were trying to build my (hypothetical) company.

Tags: , , ,
Current Mood: amused amused

6 comments or Leave a comment
(Deleted comment)
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: March 10th, 2005 08:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
seriously, if any of my friends were looking for a tech writing position, I wouldn't send them to this guy. Recruiting requires a professional image, and this guy doesn't want to work for his job. Recruiting isn't as easy as "hey, I've got a job, you want it?" It requires identifying viable candidates, advising them of the position, determining whether it's a good match, and convincing the candidate that you have something valuable to offer them, rather than wasting their time with an interview. Anyway, I have other recruiters for tech writing positions if anyone is looking for tech writing jobs. Nevermind that you are not a tech writer and neither is your better half.
(Deleted comment)
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: March 10th, 2005 08:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
The techwriting jobs I've found that were applicable to me weren't anything like that, so that didn't occur to me. Still, it didn't seem like something you'd enjoy doing.

Holy schnykees, have you been in Ithaca for FOUR YEARS?
From: have_inner_lady Date: March 11th, 2005 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
you want to??


will you bring the shark?
(Deleted comment)
From: have_inner_lady Date: March 11th, 2005 04:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
... but you'd at least look good dressed up as Fonzie!
From: gittygiggles Date: March 11th, 2005 12:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
mmmmmmmmm codeine! i love it!
From: have_inner_lady Date: March 11th, 2005 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
great response to the recruiter! I'm loving it!
6 comments or Leave a comment