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stupid, stupid people - Karen's Musings
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stupid, stupid people
A woman asked me last night if I had any children and I told her we had just gotten a 1 year old foster son.

"Oh," she said, "were you not able to have children?"

Then she proceeded to tell me that my husband should drink coffee because the caffeine makes the sperm move through faster. Uh huh. Sure.

Oh, and then she told me (mind you, this was a perfect stranger!) that if I lost weight I'd be able to conceive. Yes, I'm fat. But you know what? She was TWICE MY SIZE easily.

Current Mood: irritated irritated

42 comments or Leave a comment
mamadeb From: mamadeb Date: December 7th, 2004 11:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Don't you love unsolicited advice from people?

Especially advice that makes no sense?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 7th, 2004 12:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
yeah. that wasn't even the half of it.
If I could have figured out how to make it happen, I would have tried to burst into tears when she said that last bit. Would have served her right.
bluejeanjexy From: bluejeanjexy Date: December 7th, 2004 12:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

More brilliant advice

If you eat eggs, you'll ovulate!
So, instead of birth control pills, I think I'll just stop eating eggs!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 7th, 2004 12:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: More brilliant advice

hm. Maybe that's my problem.
cellio From: cellio Date: December 7th, 2004 12:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
People are so rude when it comes to kids! Not only are they nosy, but they are self-proclaimed experts and they just know that you'll hang on their every word of sage advice and ask for more. I wonder what color the sky is in their world.

The right and tempting thing to do is to rip 'em a new one. The expedient thing to do might be to answer the initial question with "yes, a one-year-old boy".
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 7th, 2004 12:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
The expedient thing to do might be to answer the initial question with "yes, a one-year-old boy".

Yes, but normally, it's not a problem to say what I said. If I'd had any idea how much crap I was going to take for that, I would have told her I had 7 kids.
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estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 7th, 2004 12:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
yeah, I had mikveh duty last night.

And I couldn't tell a "nice" frum lady to eff off.
From: gittygiggles Date: December 7th, 2004 12:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
i remember when i was pregnant with asher this woman who was the size of a small planet said to me "oh! aren't we carrying big....are we having twins?"

thank G-d my mother wasn't there. she would have thought of an AWESOME comeback......
ichur72 From: ichur72 Date: December 7th, 2004 12:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Uh, "we"? Maybe you should have responded, "No, *we're* not. But if you'd like to walk around holding my stomach, go ahead. No wait, that would make me call the cops and demand a restraining order."
(Deleted comment)
ichur72 From: ichur72 Date: December 7th, 2004 12:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
This brings to mind something that just infuriates me. I have decided: If I want info on getting pregnant, no more internet browsing. There is way too much goofball advice out there. Apparently, some of the fitness fascists have decided that women have no realistic chance of conceiving unless they're in perfect health and firmly within their ideal weight range. Ummm ... that contradicts the evidence of my own eyes -- it's simply not true. No, I don't like being fat. But I don't enjoy feeling like someone's telling me I don't deserve to be a mother because I'm not a twig.
From: gittygiggles Date: December 7th, 2004 12:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
i'm fat and i can't quite figure out how to NOT have babies. i get pregnant when a man in china sneezes.
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leahmiriam From: leahmiriam Date: December 7th, 2004 12:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just love unsolicited advice from total strangers. What a dumb-ass. I don't care if she doesn't have all of her marbles, people generally know when they are acting inappropriately and just don't care.

I love when they ask me if I am "doing it right" because we don't have kids. Or they assume I don't want any...or something.

By the way, the last person who thought perhaps we were not doing it right was about 20 years old and newly married. Obviously, an expert (ha!)

From: gittygiggles Date: December 7th, 2004 12:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

i love it when you tell me about that.

you should say something like "yeah he puts his elbow on my neck and we both sing rock a bye baby. every night. and still....nothing"
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From: gittygiggles Date: December 7th, 2004 01:14 pm (UTC) (Link)

hey! something from college is USEFUL!!!

i actually did a report on the horrible horrible disease of caffeinism.

moderate levels of caffeine actually DOES increase fertility, but a lot of it can decrease it. the best bet is to have a cup of coffee with in 4 hours of trying to conceive.

wow! aren't i just FULL of USELESS information!!!
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jeannegrrl From: jeannegrrl Date: December 7th, 2004 01:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow. I can't flippin' believe that. No, wait. I can. That's the sad part. I'm sorry you had to deal with such rudness. Maybe we should get her together with the person (perfect stranger) who decided she wouldn't invite me to her wedding because I gave birth at home unassisted! People can be so screwey.
lionsaoi From: lionsaoi Date: December 7th, 2004 02:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
You should whimper a little, look down and then say,

"Really? I thought it was because of the cancer."

That would shut her up.

Horrid woman.
hopeness From: hopeness Date: December 7th, 2004 02:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Stupid nosy people suck.
From: unchartedmisery Date: December 7th, 2004 04:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's horrible...People can be so cruel and so stupid.

P.S. Caffeine actually lowers sperm count and can encourage heart attacks in older men while having sex....Just an FYI for future rebuttle reference.
eyelid From: eyelid Date: December 7th, 2004 04:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think that sort of behavior is illegal in Minnesota.

Also, I'm baffled as to what she thinks body fat has to do with the female reproductive system.
leftyjew From: leftyjew Date: December 28th, 2004 10:20 pm (UTC) (Link)


I think I'm going to add you as a friend if that's ok. After reading the hilarious responses to this post, I figure it can't hurt.
42 comments or Leave a comment