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mothers - Karen's Musings
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estherchaya
estherchaya
mothers
Can someone Puh-Lease explain why I still let my mother get to me after I've been out of the house for 10 years?

Current Mood: annoyed annoyed

16 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
ichur72 From: ichur72 Date: May 12th, 2004 09:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Probably the same reason I do. It's only within the last month that I didn't give in to the knee-jerk reaction to jump and try to make her happy -- only have now have I come to realize that I didn't do anything.

*hugs*
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 12th, 2004 10:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Bleargh.
gwiii From: gwiii Date: May 12th, 2004 09:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Because, your a really nice person who care what your mother thinks.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 12th, 2004 09:58 am (UTC) (Link)
she apparently thinks I'm not a very neat person. She told me that it's because I'm just like her. Excuse me? She is a disgusting slob with overflowing ashtrays, dirt everywhere, piles of crap, dirty laundry, and a bathroom that probably hasn't been cleaned in three years. You can't walk through the living room in her apartment for crying out loud. And she is one person with no pets and slightly more space than we have in our townhouse.

And the ridiculous thing is that this bothers me. I still want to be perfect for mommy. What a ridiculously dumb thing to have upset me. Grr.
From: cecerose Date: May 12th, 2004 09:43 am (UTC) (Link)
It's genetic. Trust me.

But with lots of theraphy, kvetching and life experience, it does lessen over time.

Of course, having a certain amount of physical and psychological distance helps greatly.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 12th, 2004 09:59 am (UTC) (Link)
sigh. I just can't wait to get to the point where I don't feel like we're picking fights with each other all the time.
fheyd From: fheyd Date: May 12th, 2004 08:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
it's like you read my mind...i'm in total agreement (even if i'm not
100% sure what kvetching is)

:)
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 12th, 2004 08:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
kvetching is a Yiddish word for bitching, whining, complaining, etc.
leahmiriam From: leahmiriam Date: May 12th, 2004 11:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I am probably the LAST person on earth to seek advice from on this topic. I think I am being given the "sucker" of the year award in this category. We want approval from mothers who aren't able to give it because they are too screwed up themselves. I have been in your house, it may have been cluttered but I know dirt when I see it and it was NOT dirty. You are just overwhelmed with all the changes and an open house time-line. It'll all work out fine, I promise!
yermie From: yermie Date: May 12th, 2004 11:47 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, what they said.

Plus, as Freud said, "If it's not one thing, it's your mother..."

From: bodnej Date: May 12th, 2004 12:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Your mother gets to you when she says that you're like her because you fear that she's right.

But you're not.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 12th, 2004 08:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks for saying that I'm not. :)
(Deleted comment)
cleobatya From: cleobatya Date: May 12th, 2004 12:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
ha. we all experience this to some degree. its hard for me to make major (any) life decisions without thinking "what woudl my mother think!?"
eyelid From: eyelid Date: May 12th, 2004 03:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
My mom is pretty cool now that I'm not living in her house :), but when she says something that is less than sterling about me it gets to me because usually she is all loving and appreciative of me. I know that if she says I look like I've gained weight or something, I probably have.

unfortunately, this doesn't work as well the other way around (i.e. when she says I look like I've lost weight, etc) because I assume she's biased :)
From: gittygiggles Date: May 13th, 2004 04:27 am (UTC) (Link)
cuz she's jo momma
16 comments or Leave a comment