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Falling Apart - Karen's Musings
Random Rambling
estherchaya
estherchaya
Falling Apart
You know what?  I'm quite tired of pretending that everything's okay.  It isn't.  I'm literally falling apart from the inside out.  In the nine weeks since Tobie was born I've had the following procedures:
  • Upper endoscopy (EGD)
  • ERCP (endoscopic surgery)
  • Echocardiogram
  • Gastric Emptying Study (eating a radioactive egg)
  • Head CT Scan
  • Abdominal CT Scan
  • Ultrasound
  • Abscess aspiration
And tomorrow I'm scheduled for surgery (more on that later).

In the nine weeks since Tobie was born, I've been diagnosed with:
  • Gallstones
  • Mitral Valve Prolapse
  • Thrush
  • Blocked milk duct
  • Gastroparesis
  • Pancreatitis
  • Mastitis
  • Abscess (resulting from the mastitis)
I've really had quite enough.  I saw a surgeon today to confirm my OB's suspicions that the mastitis has progressed into an abscess.  I was really hoping that he wouldn't agree, but there really was no doubt.  He did an ultrasound, tried aspirating the abscess and the backed up milk (I have a huge lump about 2 inches wide and 4-5 inches long that's probably all milk).  But he wasn't successful, so tomorrow I'm having surgery.  

I have an amazing husband, awesome kids, some really great friends.  The rest of my life can suck it.

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Comments
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twostepsfwd From: twostepsfwd Date: July 2nd, 2010 12:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, goodness! This is awful. I'm so sorry. Please remind me your Hebrew name so I can say tehillim for you. You SO don't need this crap right now. I'm sorry you are struggling.
mrn613 From: mrn613 Date: July 2nd, 2010 01:33 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm 99.9% certain it's esther chaya bat sarah.
debsters1101 From: debsters1101 Date: July 2nd, 2010 12:28 am (UTC) (Link)
ooo when he drains the abscess do you get to keep the milk? freezer stash baby!!
no but really, please, refuah sheleima soon soon soon NOW.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 2nd, 2010 02:07 am (UTC) (Link)
I wish. There's probably about 10 ounces in there (I'm not joking).
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 2nd, 2010 12:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Does nursing help or hinder your recoveries?

I wish I could take all your pain away and restore you to your awesome, vibrant self. Gam zeh yaavor. Refuah Shelaimah.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 2nd, 2010 02:09 am (UTC) (Link)
nursing hasn't made any difference at all. She can't pull the milk out.

Thanks for your kind thoughts.
buildin_a_bayis From: buildin_a_bayis Date: July 2nd, 2010 12:58 am (UTC) (Link)
How upsetting EC!!! And unfair! And all of this after the 'pregnancy-from-Hell' when we thought it would now be smooth sailing. I would punch a wall or eat a gallon of Ice cream if I were you!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 2nd, 2010 02:10 am (UTC) (Link)
I wish I could eat a gallon of ice cream. But thanks to the gastroparesis, I would just throw it up.
mrn613 From: mrn613 Date: July 2nd, 2010 01:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh no!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 2nd, 2010 02:10 am (UTC) (Link)
yep, pretty much.
hipstamom From: hipstamom Date: July 2nd, 2010 02:03 am (UTC) (Link)
oh jeez... you've had it rough lately. I'm totally with on the "rest of my life can suck it!"

Refuah shelimah and I'll daven for you tomorrow.

smooches!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 2nd, 2010 02:10 am (UTC) (Link)
thanks.
gishmak From: gishmak Date: July 2nd, 2010 02:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Refuah shelaima!!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 2nd, 2010 02:31 am (UTC) (Link)
thanks!
jeannegrrl From: jeannegrrl Date: July 2nd, 2010 02:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Here I am, another friend who's indignant on your behalf. Seriously Karen, I came close to dropping the F-bomb in front of my kids when I read your FB update. I mean fercryinoutloud! ENOUGH I say!

I'm so sorry you and the family have to go through this...
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 2nd, 2010 03:57 am (UTC) (Link)
the worst part was I *was* going to call and ask what you're up to tomorrow b/c I am nannyless and wanted to get the kids out of the house. But now I will be otherwise engaged. Sigh.
pocketnaomi From: pocketnaomi Date: July 2nd, 2010 03:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Much, much sympathy and many hugs. I don't quite know how you keep going; I have enough trouble with one kickass medical problem. I hope the surgery goes smoothly -- you deserve for something to go smoothly for a change!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 2nd, 2010 03:58 am (UTC) (Link)
I guess I keep going because I haven't been given much of a choice. But I'm not doing so willingly nor gracefully.
happyduck1979 From: happyduck1979 Date: July 2nd, 2010 06:46 am (UTC) (Link)
I had an abscess dealt with about a month back although in a somewhat less sensitive location (back of my neck, still sensitive, but not nearly in the same ball park). In any case, I had it done twice in 3 days (idiots) and it is not as bad as I feared. It also healed quite quickly (relatively).

Wishing you a hurry refuah sheleima.
happyduck1979 From: happyduck1979 Date: July 2nd, 2010 06:49 am (UTC) (Link)
ooops, should add, it sounds like for me the abcess was about the same size as your bump. It was about 2 inches wide and 4 inches long. About an inch high or more. Totally sucks1
dandelion_diva From: dandelion_diva Date: July 2nd, 2010 06:48 am (UTC) (Link)
Ugh. I really hope the medical stuff gives it a rest and you're able to "just live" very soon.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 2nd, 2010 10:39 am (UTC) (Link)
me too.
batya_d From: batya_d Date: July 2nd, 2010 05:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ugh I'm really sorry to hear that things are still not going well :(

Refuah shleima
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 5th, 2010 11:58 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks.
lynsaurus From: lynsaurus Date: July 2nd, 2010 07:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hug hug hug.

I will continue to pray for your speedy and complete recovery, to give thanks for the support and love in your life, and to send thoughts of strength and comfort your way.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 5th, 2010 12:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. As if you don't have enough going on in your life.
thefourthvine From: thefourthvine Date: July 3rd, 2010 06:38 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm so sorry to hear all this - I think you've had more than enough medical crap, and it can stop ANY TIME NOW.

May you heal soon and heal completely.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 5th, 2010 12:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks.
From: lcmlc Date: July 6th, 2010 02:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I just read your post. May Hashem give you strength and help in dealing with all the problems. Just hang in there. Reading psalms does help me, as does learning torah if possible.

One never knows why all the bad things come, but the help and support of Seth, your folks, the wonderful community and all your good friends may help you to cope.

I am going to say some psalms for you now. Psalm 119 has special verses for each letter of the alphabet, and I'll send you some of the psalms that have helped me if you would like.

May you have a refuah sh'leima, and m'heira (fast).

Lots of love.

estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: July 11th, 2010 04:21 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, Eleanor. I appreciate it.
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