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What Exactly Have I Done to Offend the Universe? - Karen's Musings
Random Rambling
estherchaya
estherchaya
What Exactly Have I Done to Offend the Universe?
So I am giving fair warning that there is no purpose to this post beyond pure complaining and whining. I just feel like the universe is out to get me. Even ignoring all the other things going on in my life that are going to hell, but the medical issues alone that I've got going on right now are becoming overwhelming...

I still am not eating after the pregnancy from hell. No one knows why, no one can explain it. But I'm extraordinarily tired of being sick to my stomach.

I have persistent thrush (so does Tobie). If you don't know what this means and/or you've never experienced it, thank your lucky stars. It is incredibly painful (for me - uncomfortable for Tobie, but probably not painful). I'm now on a more effective treatment - here's hoping it works. Quickly.

Now I've got a high fever and severe abdominal pain. Today is day 3 of the fever and pain. No one knows why.

I have a (new to me) "very pronounced" heart murmur. Apparently new heart murmurs that surface at the same time as a high fever are sometimes really bad juju. There could be a connection, or it could just be coincidental.

I might have a kidney infection. Kidney infections are not fun - I know from experience. Well, it could be a kidney stone (but my guess is no). I haven't had one of those for a while (since I was pregnant with the triplets), so it's about time, right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. For the record, it's not like kidney stones are a lot more fun than kidney infection.

I have two broken teeth, and apparently another tooth that has cracked. One of the broken teeth isn't salvageable - it needs to be extracted, probably followed by an implant. The cost, even with insurance, is overwhelming. Never mind the time it will take to make this possible. If you have good teeth, thank your lucky stars. I've got genetics going against me, but also the fact that I grew up without flouridated water. Apparently, that's not a great idea. Flouridated water is good juju for healthy teeth.

There are several other things wrong that are TMI, but aren't quite so egregious.

I have an endoscopy scheduled for tomorrow. I now also have an echocardiogram scheduled for Friday. Bring it on.

I am tired. I am tired of the emotional turmoil that's been going on in our lives, and I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of not being a fully functional member of this family. I'm tired of not being able to carry my weight here (and my weight, if you know me personally, is not insignificant). I'm tired of having to beg my body to get up out of bed every morning.

I'm just tired. This seems to be a recurring theme in my life.

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Comments
pocketnaomi From: pocketnaomi Date: June 16th, 2010 04:51 am (UTC) (Link)
Much, much sympathy. I hope it all starts to roll away soon.
thefourthvine From: thefourthvine Date: June 16th, 2010 07:44 am (UTC) (Link)
Holy shit, that sounds like absolute hell. I'm sorry your body is collapsing on you (and I'm hoping it's just - um, although "just" is a bad word to use here - the usual post-pregnancy physical collapse cranked up to 11).

I hope you turn the corner soon, soon, soon, and that all becomes well.

(And thank you for updating us. It cannot be easy to find the energy or time to write this all down right now.)
kmelion From: kmelion Date: June 16th, 2010 08:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Could it be a piece of the placenta that's causing the fever and abdominal cramps? You might want to demand an ultrasound...
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: June 16th, 2010 10:07 am (UTC) (Link)
a bunch of people have asked me that based on this and other symptoms I've had. The OB didn't seem to think so - the pain wasn't centered in my uterus - my entire abdomen is in pain and worse if it is palpated. It seems from what I've picked up, though, that very few OBs seem to consider retained placenta - particularly this late in the game, so it ends up diagnosed after many other things are ruled out. If I don't quickly find an answer, or things don't resolve quickly enough, I'll call them again. I wasn't even sure how a retained placenta is diagnosed - can it be seen on ultrasound?
magid From: magid Date: June 16th, 2010 11:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Just one of these would stress me out; all of them together sounds like a mountain of challenge. I hope that you have a refuah shlaimah, also Tobie, so you can get back to the normal of mothering mayhem.
marag From: marag Date: June 16th, 2010 11:53 am (UTC) (Link)
::hugs:: I'm so sorry. Complain away, because you deserve it.
mrn613 From: mrn613 Date: June 16th, 2010 12:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
well shit you just can't catch a break. honestly I would be super freaked about the Really Bad Thing with that set of symptoms. Every time I read a story about that it always begins with "I got misdiagnosed for so long with IBS". Is there any way Seth can pull some medical strings and get you a CT?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: June 16th, 2010 01:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
I definitely don't fit the profile of someone with IBS, so that's unlikely to be the issue. My GI Doc's plan is to do an endoscopy today and if there's nothing obviously wrong with that, then he'll do an abdominal and head CT (at the same time so I don't have to do it twice if the abdominal CT shows nothing).

His best guess? That he'll run all these tests, find nothing, and that symptoms *will* eventually resolve on their own in a few months. I don't know whether to be happy or frustrated with that potential outcome.
mrn613 From: mrn613 Date: June 16th, 2010 05:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
I didn't mean that you have IBS, I meant that many women with cancer get misdiagnosed with something else because lay people and even some doctors are under the impression that ovarian cancer shows no symptoms. So when a woman comes in complaining of symptoms, the rule out ovarian cancer in their heads. So while I am so upset that you are feeling so ill I am ecstatic that you will be getting a CT.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: June 16th, 2010 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Turns out, I probably have gall stones despite not having a gall bladder. Oh, and my stomach is really ugly and probably has an ulcer. Still doesn't answer the heart murmur part, but hopefully I'll get to address that on Friday at my echocardiogram.

Assuming I don't get scheduled for emergency bile duct surgery, which, it turns out, is a real possibility.
mrn613 From: mrn613 Date: June 17th, 2010 12:46 am (UTC) (Link)
can they do that type of surgery laparoscopic?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: June 17th, 2010 01:36 am (UTC) (Link)
yes. They may even be able to do it endoscopically, but they won't know until they get in there.

I'm trying to find the energy to post about the appointment and what transpired. But what it boils down to is that they're doing a stat MRI tomorrow (it was too late in the day to make it happen today). The results of the MRI will determine whether I'm scheduled for surgery immediately, or whether I can wait a few days and schedule it on a non-emergency basis.
mabfan From: mabfan Date: June 16th, 2010 01:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sympathies.
eyelid From: eyelid Date: June 16th, 2010 02:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
no surprise you're tired of it!
From: jadesymb Date: June 16th, 2010 02:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
**HUGS**

I hope you feel better soon and that things turn around for you.

Do you think your health could be diet related? I mean, something like Celaics?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: June 16th, 2010 05:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
that's an easy one to rule out since I'm pretty much not eating anything.
From: jadesymb Date: June 16th, 2010 05:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
With Celaics, it's sometimes damage over time that builds up and makes everything go south.....

I suspect it's just going to be "one of those things" where the doctors never have an answer.

**HUGS**

I really hope this passes quickly and you feel better soon!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: June 16th, 2010 09:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
except I haven't eaten (literally) in 10 months. So I'm doubting that the problem is something like celiac.

however, it does appear that we have at least some partial answers. I'll post later.
real_bethy From: real_bethy Date: June 16th, 2010 03:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Of course you are tired! Each day seems to bring a fresh piece of hell! I really hope that these doctors clue in to what is causing you all this discomfort and help clear up these ongoing issues. It would be really nice if you could focus on the general craziness of being a mother instead of medical issues.

**hugs**
introducingyael From: introducingyael Date: June 16th, 2010 04:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
What I wish, more than anything, is that you could get the rest you need to not be so tired anymore.
rlitterst From: rlitterst Date: June 16th, 2010 05:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
*hugs* (and I like the fact that you worked "juju" into this post twice :-D )
hap_e From: hap_e Date: June 16th, 2010 05:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
I wish you feel better and get lots of help around the house and with the kiddos!

Hugs.
hopeness From: hopeness Date: June 16th, 2010 09:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thinking of you, as always. I hope everything can be resolved easily.
cellio From: cellio Date: June 17th, 2010 01:20 am (UTC) (Link)
Oof. I'm sorry.
cleobatya From: cleobatya Date: June 17th, 2010 03:47 am (UTC) (Link)
i feel so bad for you .I hope all of this gets better....
From: atimesif Date: June 17th, 2010 06:30 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm so sorry that you're suffering so much.
Sigh.
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