?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
Incommunicado - Karen's Musings
Random Rambling
estherchaya
estherchaya
Incommunicado
I've gotten a few inquiries about my well-being on account of the fact that I haven't been posting.  So let's get the most important bit out of the way - yes, I'm okay.  Yes, I'm still pregnant.

I've had an upper respiratory infection and there's also been Passover taking up my time, so I haven't been online much.  There's also the fact that there's really nothing to say - things are pretty much status quo.  Still on insulin, still not keeping food down.   Still getting IV fluids and medications.    Now also have carpal tunnel syndrome (well, I've had CTS since I was 15, but it's been excruciating in the last month or two),  and, you know various other irritating things.  But I'm still pregnant.  I now get weekly NSTs and weekly BPPs.    Bed Rest, Shmed Rest, right?

People keep telling me that I'm in the "home stretch", like that's supposed to make me feel better.  It doesn't.  I know that makes me a bitter old hag, but it doesn't make me feel better.  I don't care if  I'm due in two months or two days or two hours - until it's OVER and the baby is on the OUTSIDE, it's still not any fun.  I will be happy when this pregnancy is behind me.  And yes, I do still fully accept the title of bitter old hag.

Honestly can't think of much else to say.
5 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
(Deleted comment)
childlight From: childlight Date: April 5th, 2010 01:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
I am glad you checked in I have been thinking about you.
hipstamom From: hipstamom Date: April 7th, 2010 07:10 am (UTC) (Link)

Hah!

Old and bitter? Far from it. That's my title.
Seriously, I'm glad you're hanging tough!
introducingyael From: introducingyael Date: April 7th, 2010 09:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
You totally have reshus to be a bitter hag.
Thank you for checking in :)
From: atimesif Date: April 8th, 2010 02:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for posting. I was worried. I hope your upper respiratory infection feels better soon. Is that from the bedrest?

I'm glad that you're still gestating! Objectively that's great news! It's a real milestone that you got through Pesach and you're still pregnant.

At the end of my twin pregnancy I cried every day. I just couldn't TAKE it anymore. I just had it with the pregnancy. I knew that each day INSIDE was equivalent to about two days OUTSIDE in the NICU so I was logically motivated to stay pregnant, but emotionally - forget it. I just wanted my life back.

I remember making a list like:
I want to be able to sleep
I want to be able to go to the bathroom without thinking 5x
I want to be able to eat without getting awful heartburn
I want to be able wear shoes (my feet swelled up)
etc.

You're list is even more basic:
I want to be able to:
eat and drink!
walk, sleep, function without being attached to medical equipment!
in other words, to just LIVE!

One day you will, very soon. But until then you have to just grin (or not) and bear it until you actually bear it :)

Thanks again for checking in with your #5 status.
5 comments or Leave a comment