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Happenings with each of us - Karen's Musings
Random Rambling
estherchaya
estherchaya
Happenings with each of us
I keep forgetting to post about my interview from my last post. Anyway, it was a great interview, and I was there for a couple hours, which is a good long time, considering it was the first time that I had ever left Sam, Ellie and Abby with anyone. I was offered the job on the spot and everyone was fine with waiting until January 21 for me to start, which is good. I have little desire to return to work, but since I have no choice, this is a great job to go to. So, hooray for me! I think it was the rockin' shoes. :) Or it could have been the spit up on my blouse (I was a walking cliche that day).

Abby started smiling last week, and now she smiles all the time. Sam is still the clingy-est of them all, but super sweet. Ellie is still the calmest of the bunch, but so much fun to cuddle! They were weighed last week and they are huge! Sam is 7 lb 14 oz. Abby (believe it or not) is 7 lb 12 oz. Ellie, while still growing, is a bit more worrisome at 7 lb even. They will be 14 weeks tomorrow, but are still wearing newborn clothes and diapers. My father has been generous enough to provide us with diapers any time we run low, which is good because a case of diapers lasts us only five days!

I keep a log of every meal time, and every diaper... a lot of people think I should have given up the log by now, but I honestly don't know how I would keep track otherwise. We change about 15-18 diapers per day, do more loads of laundry than I can count, and feed the babies constantly (well, I feed Ellie and Sam constantly... Abby mostly gets expressed milk in bottles and she's pretty consistent eating about every 3 hours...but Ellie and Sam... gosh they never stop eating!)

Julian is an amazing big brother, and though he's not without adjustment issues, he's doing great. He is such a fun conversationalist and has a blooming personality. He plays independently, but still craves having adults to play with him. He adores the triplets and wants to help hold them and play with them as much as possible. He gives them hugs and kisses every morning and every evening and makes sure to say goodbye to each of the babies before he leaves for school (or before he gets out of the car, if I'm the one to drop him off). He loves to have grown-up sounding conversations. He'll stop everything and say, "Hey guys, let's have a chat, okay?" or "Okay, stop making all this noise, it's time to have a talk!" Of course, all that conversation comes with a price, because he's also learned out to talk back... I swear he's a four year old going on a teenager sometimes. But we're trying to work through that, and we definitely find that the more one-on-one attention we can give him, the less back-talk we get and the less attitude he exhibits. So we're trying to remain vigilant on spending as much time with him as possible, though there are obviously limits sometimes. There would be limits with even one newborn in the house, and we've got three.

That's the news on everyone but Seth. Seth is also doing well, but I'll let him update his own journal rather than having me speak too much for him. Overall though, he's doing great, but would prefer more sleep. He is a tremendous partner in this parenting adventure. People ask me if he's a great help, but to call him that would be doing him a disservice. He's not just a helper, he's a partner, and I feel we share our responsibilities rather equally in whatever ways we can (obviously he can't breastfeed, but he can certainly get up in the middle of the night to give Abby a bottle or to bring the other babies to me when they need to eat, for example). He does more than his fair share of dishes, and lately has been doing more than just a little weekday meal prep (Shabbos is still up to me, with varying degrees of success). He does more of the grocery shopping than I do, but that's always been the case. Most weeks we pretty evenly split laundry duty, though some weeks it falls more heavily on him or on me. He gets Julian to school most days (though I've been trying to pick that duty up as much as possible), and gets Julian to bed most nights (I try to pick up bed time occasionally, but I tend to be feeding babies at exactly bed time, so it doesn't work out very often). I couldn't ask for a better person to share this adventure with.

I'm not sure why, but the last few days I've had more people than usual ask if we're "done" having kids. The answer is absolutely not if I have anything to say about it. But bear in mind that it took five years, a lot of treatment, and a whole bunch of money, to get these three here, so we may not have our say over it. We know that any children in our lives are blessings and miracles, no matter how they get here, so we're overjoyed with the miracle of our four beautiful children, but would happily welcome more into our lives. I've also had more people than usual reminding me that I "must have my hands full"... this is true, we do have our hands full, but we'd much rather have our hands full than empty, and they were empty for a long time.

I have a bunch of pictures to post, but that will have to wait for another post. I'm out of baby-free time (nap time is over). I hope those of you who are celebrating today have a lovely holiday.

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Comments
kressel From: kressel Date: December 25th, 2007 06:58 pm (UTC) (Link)



So glad to hear such good news all around!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 27th, 2007 11:01 am (UTC) (Link)
yes! B"H we're coping much better than I'd expected to be coping. The only real concern we have at this point is Ellie's weight gain (or relative lack thereof), but we're otherwise all healthy, thank heaven, and really happy.
kmelion From: kmelion Date: December 25th, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Glad to hear from you :) I was wondering how you were all doing.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 27th, 2007 10:59 am (UTC) (Link)
so far, so good!
ichur72 From: ichur72 Date: December 25th, 2007 08:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
You sound like a very busy lady -- but the best kind of busy. Glad the interview went well, glad the little ones are growing, glad Julian is so fond of his siblings. You should continue to have much happiness and nachas from your family!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 27th, 2007 10:59 am (UTC) (Link)
definitely the best kind of busy. :)
magid From: magid Date: December 25th, 2007 08:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Excellent news, all around. It sounds like a great job to go to, given the need to work. And Julian is getting to be an experienced big brother :-).

May everyone continue to grow in happiness, accomplishment, and full nights of sleep :-).
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 27th, 2007 10:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! It is a great job to go to, so I'm not SO sorry about it, but I do wish I didn't have to work right now. These babies are just getting interesting!
mortuus From: mortuus Date: December 25th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm so happy things are going well (if exhausting). Congrats on the new job!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 27th, 2007 10:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
zis770 From: zis770 Date: December 26th, 2007 01:53 am (UTC) (Link)
congrats on the job. Can't wait to see pics.

Side note: DH was talking to someone and mentioned something like what he would do if we had another child and they said something like "you're not going to have more kids are you?" and this in my neighborhood where nobody blinks if you have 10 kids. Whatever!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 26th, 2007 07:02 am (UTC) (Link)
That's just insane. Most of the comments I get like, "well, at least with triplets, you're done and don't need to have more kids" came from the frum community (before I knew whether I was having boys or girls, so it's not that we've filled our quota for a boy and a girl that's driving that comment). I don't get it. No one bats an eyelash at having 5, 6, 7 kids in one family (or in your case even more), but I have one set of triplets and I have to be done?
zis770 From: zis770 Date: December 27th, 2007 03:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah I don't get that. And in our case there's numerous places where the Rebbe wrote about how having a baby for a woman who can is the ultimate they can be doing, raising yiddishe doros so it just seemed so counter to what I've learned the Lubavitch hashkafa is. Obviously I need to be sameach bchelko but that doesn't mean you can't want more.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 27th, 2007 10:56 am (UTC) (Link)
It drives me crazy that everyone thinks I'm a total freak for wanting more kids... especially since it's the frum community that seems to think that! But it's all good. We don't have to make any decisions anytime soon. For the moment, our lives are full enough that I certainly can't think about it too much right now!
tigerbright From: tigerbright Date: December 26th, 2007 02:24 am (UTC) (Link)
I am absolutely amazed by your and Seth's coping skills with four children - and even more amazed that you're able to give all three babies breastmilk! Go you!

Enjoy the job. What are you doing for daycare for the babies? I'm trying to figure out what my options are for Eva - for Joshua, I just have to find a place that can cope with a child that is normally mellow but has regular Early Intervention therapy sessions and needs some help to prevent meltdowns.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 26th, 2007 07:00 am (UTC) (Link)
We'll be getting a nanny. We THINK we've found one, but have to offer her the job and see if she accepts. Daycare for three babies was just not an option... it would have worked out to be the same or more expensive than getting a nanny and has the downside of having to get the babies all bundled up and out of the house every day, which is more stress than I care to deal with right now (it's a big ordeal to get everyone into the car right now).
kalki From: kalki Date: December 26th, 2007 02:54 am (UTC) (Link)
I've also had more people than usual reminding me that I "must have my hands full"... this is true, we do have our hands full, but we'd much rather have our hands full than empty, and they were empty for a long time.

*sniff sniff* This was such an amazing statement.

I love your posts and I always look out for them! :)

Love to you and your family for the holidays!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 27th, 2007 10:54 am (UTC) (Link)
You're so sweet. You are in my thoughts and prayers that your hands should be full (not TOO full!) very soon.
hannahsarah From: hannahsarah Date: December 26th, 2007 06:44 am (UTC) (Link)
It makes me so happy to hear that you are all doing so well. :-)

If you don't mind my asking, how can you afford 8+ hours a day of care for 3 newborns, even if you ARE working full time? It's got to be insanely expensive. At the end of the day, do you make any money at all, or does it all go for childcare?

I ask because when Rivka was little I could never find a job that would pay me more than I would end up paying someone else, so it made more sense for me to stay home.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 26th, 2007 06:58 am (UTC) (Link)
We'll be getting a nanny, which actually will work out to be the same or slightly less than putting them in day care (when you get to three kids, the cost evens out between the two options). Julian's preschool is paid for by his grandparents, thank heavens. It IS insanely expensive and it would be nice if it worked out to be cheaper (or the same) for me to stay home, but it doesn't. I work in a field which has more jobs than professionals who know how to do what I do, and therefore salaries are quite competitive. So I'll still make more than the nanny makes by a fair bit. It does suck to see such a huge chunk of my salary gone, though.
zis770 From: zis770 Date: December 27th, 2007 03:06 am (UTC) (Link)
don't worry by the time you're done with the nanny then they'll start going to yeshiva! (I'm trying not to think about that fact that in 1 year and a hald we'll be having 4 tuitions to come up with. Hashem will help!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 27th, 2007 10:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Believe me, this weighs heavily on my mind... I don't know HOW we're going to pay all these tuitions!
skatured From: skatured Date: December 26th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
What a great post! Maybe the plus side to working again is that you will be posting a bit more...
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: December 27th, 2007 11:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Yeah I figure I'll be able ro at least post during the occasional lunch time, which is more than I get now.
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