?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
Dear Ayah Papaya, I'm sorry for being a snappish witch. I hope you… - Karen's Musings
Random Rambling
estherchaya
estherchaya
Dear Ayah Papaya,
I'm sorry for being a snappish witch.

I hope you still love me!

Love,
Karen

Current Mood: cranky cranky

27 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
(Deleted comment)
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 04:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Fortunately, I'm 29.

*shiver*

There are nine million Karen Cohens out there, as I discovered the day after I changed my name!
queen_elisheva From: queen_elisheva Date: May 10th, 2005 04:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Of course.

I knew when I posted it that it would cause flames to shoot down from the heavens.

estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 04:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
I really, really, really wasn't flaming YOU. I was flaming the frum mindset... and not necessarily even YOUR mindset. Just the flack I've been taking from people for months now. Years even. It makes me ill how much infighting there is over this issue.
queen_elisheva From: queen_elisheva Date: May 10th, 2005 04:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
it's jewish politics hard at work. I hate frum politics. HATE it.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 04:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
agreed.

Sounds like maybe actually you and I are on the same side... we just made different choices.
ichur72 From: ichur72 Date: May 10th, 2005 07:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
I heartily agree -- frum politics = yucko.
From: lola100 Date: May 10th, 2005 04:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm frum *sniff*. You're making us all sound horrible.

I don't tell anyone what they should be doing. I may be a little judgmental in my own mind, but I would never say anything to anyone.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 04:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
And that's why I'm friends with you. Because you aren't horrible. And I don't mean to knock on all frum people.

The fact is that the community I live in is NOT judgmental. There is a huge mishmosh of practices. Hat wearers, snood wearers, sheitel wearers, sheitel WITH hat wearers, fall wearers, people who wear hats during the week and sheitels on shabbos, people who wear hats on shabbos and nothing during the week. People who wear slits in their skirts, people who don't, people who wear open toed shoes, people who don't, people who wear denim, people who don't. And they're all people. They're all good, pious Jews. They all know more about frumkeit than I could ever hope to know. And I will not judge them based on what I can see in front of me.

In recent months, I've become very frustrated with frumkeit in general. Outside my community all I hear are "my frumkeit is holier than your frumkeit" type arguments and it makes me sick. Seriously sick. It stresses me out, it gives me headaches, it makes me sad. I'm tired of taking it all so personally. And I'd love to flip that switch that makes me not take it personally, but when I then have women turn around and tell me that if I were more solid in my frumkeit, Hashem would enable me to become pregnant, it's kind of hard to not take personally.
From: lola100 Date: May 10th, 2005 05:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
I really can't believe someone would actually say that to your face. That is just...... no words.

There is one thing I do feel strongly about though. Frumkeit is one thing, Halacha is another. If someone rationalizes not doing something lehalachah, I feel that is just wrong. But something that is the spirit of the law is something else entirely.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 05:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Frankly, I can't believe someone would even THINK it. It's ridiculous. What Hashem wants for me is no one else's business. Anyone who can believe it has never faced infertility. And yes, it's been said. To my face. Or to my computer screen, anyway. It's hateful and disgusting. And you know what that does for my frumkeit? Nothing good, I'll tell you that.
From: lola100 Date: May 10th, 2005 05:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
There are stupid people every where. Don't let them get to you.

Our Imahos were all infertile. And I'm sure you know why. Hashem wanted their tefilos. I think that says A LOT about you Karen Cohen.

Screw those people. (Excuse my french) And DON'T let it effect your frumkeit. You are an inspiration. At least to me, you are.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 05:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
*sniff*
You're so sweet.

(though I find it hard to understand how I'm an inspiration to anyone)

(and you made me laugh out loud with your French. I don't know what you look like, but I imagine you as a petite, sweet little frum person... and I am just picturing hello kitty saying "screw you!" Hahahahahahahahahaha!)
From: lola100 Date: May 10th, 2005 05:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
You try to be a good person and a good jew. You really want to do the right thing. You go to shul, you always have company and you're a MIKVAH LADY!! That one really got to me.

and I am just picturing hello kitty saying "screw you!"
HAHAHAHAHA!
The hello kitty, is because I couldn't think of any other icon and my kids are obsessed - even my 18 month old says "kittee".
I'm not petite. I am a sweet frum person ;) Just not little. I am 5'7" - But I am thin.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Er... I've been to shul once since Purim!

*gasp* You're tall AND thin! Drat! I am neither, as the pictures of me evidenced. ;)

A friend of mine makes appointments for one of the local mikvaot. She needed someone to fill in one week and I did it. Of course, the next day she said, "So... have you ever thought about maybe doing this regularly? Hint, hint." Supposedly, it was just until a couple women got back from having recently had babies. But, well, that was 9 or 10 months ago... I actually didn't want to be a mikveh lady because I feel like the first person you touch when you get out of the mikveh should have unreproachable yiddishkeit. I'm not even close to that. I do a lot of things because I'm "supposed" to without really knowing why anymore. That same friend told me that whether I feel it right now or not, the thing that keeps me doing it for now is Hashem. Not that I'm disagreeing with her, but it still seems like I'm not the best candidate to be a mikveh lady.

Interestingly, the criteria for that particular mikveh to be an attendant is that you have to cover your hair in public. (okay, and be Jewish and married and stuff, but the litmus test they use is hair covering...and it doesn't matter if it's a hat, snood, sheitel, tichel, some hair showing, all hair covered, whatever, as long as it's covered in some way)
From: lola100 Date: May 10th, 2005 06:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Maybe - but you really want to to do the right thing.

You have a toddler and you still try to go to shul.

AND - it doesn't really matter why you do it - you do it because you're supposed to. More reward that way, rather than it making you feel good.

You inspire me, to want to be a better person and jew. Really.
queen_elisheva From: queen_elisheva Date: May 10th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've stopped caring what lakewood women think of me.

My husband is happy with me in my ankle-length skirts and high tops, and that's all that counts.

Nobody's making anybody sound horrible. I think it was elanor roosevelt who said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission".

I used to tutor people when I was in college, and for me, argumentative essays were the worst. People tend to attack PEOPLE and not issues, and that's not what you're supposed to do. Whatever you wear on your head is fine. I don't judge you. You don't judge me. We'll leave all that business up to hashem.

Where in lakewood are you?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 04:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
It was, indeed, Eleanor Roosevelt who said that.

Except that I have a terrible habit of giving people permission to make me feel inferior.
magid From: magid Date: May 11th, 2005 10:58 am (UTC) (Link)
I have a terrible habit of giving people permission to make me feel inferior.
I wish I could stop this habit, myself...
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 04:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
People tend to attack PEOPLE and not issues,

Ding, ding, ding!

You win the prize. I can't remember if you keep cholov yisroel. If not, you just won a kosher krispy kreme. If you do, then you just won a trip to crown heights in search of CY cheese puffs. :-D
From: lola100 Date: May 10th, 2005 05:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
The Villas.

You?
queen_elisheva From: queen_elisheva Date: May 10th, 2005 09:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
forest park
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 06:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
I keep forgetting you're just in Lakewood. Me thinks I'm going to have to take a day trip to Lakewood sometime soon.
From: cecerose Date: May 10th, 2005 05:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

raised eyebrown...

Uh...did I miss something?

I assume it's about the frum issue, no?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 05:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: raised eyebrown...

I got all snippy in a debate is all.
From: cecerose Date: May 10th, 2005 05:29 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: raised eyebrown...

You, snippy? Nevah!

I can't wait to hear part III of the law school saga...
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: May 10th, 2005 05:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: raised eyebrown...

I'm working on it.
Speaking of snippy. Yeah, that was a pretty snippy time.

And was that sarcasm coming out of your keyboard about my snippiness? ;)
From: cecerose Date: May 10th, 2005 11:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: raised eyebrown...

No, just some gentle teasing... ;op

Wow. Just read the 3rd part of the law school saga... Yeesh.
27 comments or Leave a comment