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Inadequacy - Karen's Musings
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estherchaya
estherchaya
Inadequacy
We did an important thing this morning. In the long run, it will be nothing but good. But in the short term, it's making me feel rather inadequate.


I hired a cleaning service to come bi-weekly. Originally all I wanted was the floors and the bathroom, but her rate is so amazing (half of several other quotes) that we'll just have her come in and do her thing. Bathrooms, floors, baseboards, windowsills, cabinets (wipe down), counters, glass front door.

I feel ridiculous that I can't even keep a handle on keeping our floors clean. As it is, it falls on Seth 55-65% of the time. Though I've been doing a lot more with the floors than I used to. The cleaning person made the good point that once we've gotten into a routine and she's gotten things up to where I want them, maintenance will be much easier. She also said I'll feel a lot more relaxed, and she's probably right. As it is, if I'm not cleaning something when I'm home, I feel guilty. That doesn't mean I'm ALWAYS cleaning something. It means I spend a lot of time feeling guilty.

So I am no longer a domestic goddess. But at least my houe will be cleaner.

Tags:
Current Mood: bored inadequate

22 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
cahwyguy From: cahwyguy Date: March 30th, 2005 09:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
We've had a service for years. It will allow you more time to spend with your family, and doing things of value with them, not for them.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: March 30th, 2005 10:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
that's a very good way of putting it.
mamadeb From: mamadeb Date: March 30th, 2005 09:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
You have a pretty full life as it is, with a fulltime job and Julian.

And even so, you've seen my house. And I have no kids (yet) and work parttime.

I think you've earned the cleaning lady.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: March 30th, 2005 10:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Intellectually I see that it can't all be done by us. Emotionally, I feel like I'm failing. But cahwyguy makes a good point about doing things of value WITH my family and not FOR them, since the cleaning service will free up some time.
ginamariewade From: ginamariewade Date: March 30th, 2005 10:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
You work. You're a mom.

I work. I'm a mom. I consider myself to be doing a good job if we have clean clothes to wear and there's nothing growing in the kitchen.

A cleaning lady is not such a horrible thing, plus, cleaning ladies deserve to make a living, too.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: March 30th, 2005 10:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh I know that they deserve to make a living too. It's just that it used to be my thing and I've been sucking at it for the last, well, a long enough time that I don't want to say.

And I know there's no shame in having some household help. It's a good thing and an important thing, and the cleaning person we hired is very nice and very sweet and I'm sure will do a great job and she's not charging enough for me to feel like I shouldn't be spending the money.

I just feel like I ought to have my sh*t together and be able to keep the dining room and living room clean and (heaven forbid) have dinner on the table most nights. HAH!
galads_forest From: galads_forest Date: March 30th, 2005 11:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
My floor is so rarely cleaned it's disgusting. I think it's cuz of the years and years of dirt stuck into it from the messy old people who lived here before us. Maybe when I redo the kitchen I'll have the koyach to clean it, but until then it's almost worthless cuz it never looks (or is) clean even when I bother.

You did the right thing. I'm thinking about doing it too if I can fit it into the budget...
cleobatya From: cleobatya Date: March 30th, 2005 11:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
wow thats cool! i want one too.
pocketnaomi From: pocketnaomi Date: March 30th, 2005 11:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Can I have her name? We're looking for someone to do that.
glenbarnett From: glenbarnett Date: March 31st, 2005 01:54 am (UTC) (Link)

We have cleaners come every second week.

It gives us more time to spend with our children.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: March 31st, 2005 01:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I know. It's a good point. There's a very illogical part of me that feels that I should be able to do it ALL (clean, work, spend time with children, cook, etc.)
glenbarnett From: glenbarnett Date: April 5th, 2005 05:01 am (UTC) (Link)
I know the feeling.

I doubt it will take long to get over it.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: April 5th, 2005 10:54 am (UTC) (Link)
14 seconds after I got home the first time the cleaning service came, I was over it.
From: have_inner_lady Date: March 31st, 2005 02:06 am (UTC) (Link)
sorry to hear you feel inadequate. curious: would you feel inadequate if you up and decided to stop working? or is it a keeping-together-your-own-household thing?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: March 31st, 2005 01:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
No, not working would not make me feel inadequate in the long run (I'm not sure how I'd feel about it in the short term). It's mostly a keeping-together-my-own-household thing. But it's also that I illogically feel like I SHOULD be able to do it ALL.

It's just that I've grown so awfully fond of sleep.
leahmiriam From: leahmiriam Date: March 31st, 2005 02:17 am (UTC) (Link)
At first it was a tough concept for me as well, but the thing is, I hate cleaning. I can tidy up, but cleaning a toilet, not my thing. Besides, I have disc problems. She doesn't charge so much that it is prohibitive and it's nice not to be stuck at home on Sunday, the only real day we have off, cleaning. I never have the energy after a day at work to deal with this stuff. She did a fine job for us today!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: March 31st, 2005 01:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't mind cleaning, I'm just having a hard time finding the time for it.
leahmiriam From: leahmiriam Date: March 31st, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Exactly why you need the help!
caryabend From: caryabend Date: March 31st, 2005 07:11 am (UTC) (Link)
We have a cleaning service because I love my wife.

Well, that, and I hate to clean.

And the two of us don't agree on the definition of "clean enough."

And the service comes at a reasonable price.

Look out, here comes the Spanish Inquisition!

I wasn't expecting that. :)
From: lola100 Date: March 31st, 2005 01:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
I didn't get cleaning help until I was pregnant with my 3rd. I felt really guilty too. But y'know what? Not a DROP of that guilt is left. WE (me and you and every other mother out there)deserve it. If we had to clean the whole house after working, cooking, doing laundry we would just be WRECKs. And what kind of mother would we be after that? Just think of it that way. The guilt will just disappear.
magid From: magid Date: March 31st, 2005 03:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
I also have someone clean my place every other week.

I'm not a neat freak naturally, and I've found that knowing she's coming gets me to straighten up so she can clean. And I'm a lot happier when the place is neater as well as cleaner.
cellio From: cellio Date: March 31st, 2005 05:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
There's nothing wrong with hiring people to do the work you don't want to do. We have a cleaning person too. Also someone who keeps the grass tamed.
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