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exciting news - Karen's Musings
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estherchaya
estherchaya
exciting news
Some of you know about this already, but not all of you, so let me start from the beginning (and sorry for repeating myself for those of you who already knew this)...

Two weeks ago, we were approached by our rebbetzin (rabbi's wife) asking us if we'd be interested in being foster parents for a one year old baby boy in the Aspen Hill Jewish community. The timing was particularly weird because earlier that day I'd been seized with the notion that I'd like to be a foster parent someday, and I'd even gone to Maryland Social Services Agency's website to look up how to become a foster parent. I'd placed it out of my mind figuring I'd talk to Seth about it in the coming months and we'd see where we were in a year or so.

But then I got my rebbetzin's call. Really amazing timing. It took us a while to work out the details, but we've met the baby (Julian is his name) and his grandparents (with whom he is staying for the time being) twice, and also done a lot of talking on the phone as well. Julian and his grandparents came to our house tonight (last time was at their house) for dinner and schmoozing. Julian was a darling and smiled and laughed and put the grandparents at ease that he was so comfortable here (we need to put a little something extra in his paycheck for the snowjob he did on them!). We had a very pleasant dinner, and eventually agreed that we could start moving forward!

So we'll have Julian for at least a year. And if at the end of that year his mother hasn't gotten her act together (it doesn't sound like she will), we may be able to adopt him. I'm doing my best to look at this as a strictly foster situation for the moment, so that I don't completely lose my mind if I have to give him back. I know I'll completely lose my mind anyway, but I don't want to count on the adoption possibility too much.

We didn't tell a lot of people at first, because we didn't want things to start spreading around. And we also didn't want to have to answer a lot of questions if it didn't work out. We didn't even tell our mothers until after we'd met them for the first time. My mother was happy for us, though noticeably hurt that we didn't tell her sooner. Seth's mother is also very happy for us, though did take the opportunity to pry about fertility treatment options for us, as I predicted she would. I had finally broken her of the habit of asking about my ovulation every time we talked. So I think I'm going to have to re-train her now. But that's okay, she IS happy for us. And yes, I know she means well, but it's still none of her business. So if we didn't tell you, it was either because you know our parents and we didn't want it getting to our parents before we'd had a chance to tell them. Or it was just because we we very reserved about mentioning it until we knew a little more firmly that Julian would be coming to our home.

Now that we know it's relatively definite, we get to instantly babyproof! This is a definite disadvantage to not starting out with a newborn! We're starting out with a very mobile, active toddler. But he makes up for it in cuteness. Anyway, we have to sort of figure out what our next steps are, but Julian's grandmother is going to drop him off here Monday after work so that he can spend a few hours with us alone. We'll do that a few times, and then maybe spend a full day with him, and then a couple overnights. And next thing you know, we'll have him full time! Holy schmoley!

So... whee!

Current Mood: ecstatic ecstatic

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Comments
cahwyguy From: cahwyguy Date: October 13th, 2004 09:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Mazel Tov.

If you need help looking for hazards, let me know next Wednesday night when I'm out there. I've got a 9 year old. Feel free to let us know if you have questions.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 13th, 2004 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Will do. We've definitely got our fair share of hazards here since we've not been counting on being parents for a while yet. I'm all for any advice anyone can give us!
(Deleted comment)
eyelid From: eyelid Date: October 13th, 2004 09:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Fun! Instant baby!

You didn't miss anything with the newborn phase. They just sleep all day and cry all night. Blah.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 13th, 2004 10:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
squee!!

True on the newborn phase. But the two things we'll miss are the ability to ease into babyproofing, and the ability to work up gradually to the 22 pounder we'll have on our hands. Most parents get to start with 7 or 8 pounds and work up from there. ;)
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
ichur72 From: ichur72 Date: October 13th, 2004 09:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

yay!!!!!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 13th, 2004 10:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
whoo hoo!
From: cecerose Date: October 14th, 2004 12:33 am (UTC) (Link)
That's WONDERFUL!!! I'm so excited for you, Seth and Julian.

And who knows? Maybe it will work out in the end...

I had finally broken her of the habit of asking about my ovulation every time we talked. So I think I'm going to have to re-train her now.

You're kidding me... Boy. No wonder she drives you crazy.

Have you considered a cattle prod for negative reinforcement?
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 22nd, 2004 11:45 am (UTC) (Link)
You're kidding me... Boy. No wonder she drives you crazy

No, I'm not kidding you. It is her very trait of not knowing when to butt out that drives me crazy about her.

The cattle prod is a good one, though.
kitsunebeast From: kitsunebeast Date: October 14th, 2004 03:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Congratulations! That's wonderful news!
gwiii From: gwiii Date: October 14th, 2004 03:30 am (UTC) (Link)

Ummm......

Whoa!

I have to tell you that this caught me completly off guard. Congratulations guys! Wow!
***Stunned***
Everyone seems to be doing this parenting thing. Nifty!
sethcohen From: sethcohen Date: October 14th, 2004 04:11 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Ummm......

Yes, we are adding mass to our families. Whereas you guys are, er, not. How's the puppy?
From: gittygiggles Date: October 14th, 2004 04:26 am (UTC) (Link)
YAY! sorry i had to sign off yesterday, lauren called and kicked me off line. that's WONDERFUL! what are you doing about daycare?? and hey...i HAVE a 1 year old....a mobile 1 year old who is desperately trying to get a concussion daily....if you'd like...asher and i can come over sometime and help baby proof. :) we'll put asher down and see what he gets into ;) that's awesome awesome awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm really really really excited for you! and he's the same age as asher!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so is it pronounced hoolian or jewlian? (sorry i had to go there)

YAY YAY YAY YAY! this is better than being pregnant bc you dont have to squish something the size of a bowling ball out of something the size of a banana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 22nd, 2004 11:47 am (UTC) (Link)
we are trying to do a nanny-share for a daycare option. Otherwise, we'll figure something else out.
From: gingy Date: October 14th, 2004 04:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Baaaaaaaaby! Hooray! I'm so happy for you!

So, does this mean you're gonna stop trying to have one? OW! HEY!
jeannegrrl From: jeannegrrl Date: October 14th, 2004 04:56 am (UTC) (Link)
WOWOWOW! How incredible and what a blessing! We have some baby gates if you want - I never got around to putting them up for Jacob - maybe *you're* the reason I haven't already gotten rid of them! :-)

This kid is SO lucky to have you and Seth, even if (potentially) only for a year.

~BIG HUG~
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 22nd, 2004 11:47 am (UTC) (Link)
what kind of baby gates do you have?
drmellow From: drmellow Date: October 14th, 2004 06:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Pictures.
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 22nd, 2004 11:47 am (UTC) (Link)
posted today in my journal.
allah_sulu From: allah_sulu Date: October 14th, 2004 06:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Congratulations!
From: (Anonymous) Date: October 14th, 2004 07:22 am (UTC) (Link)

Mazel Tov

Congrats! That's so awesome. We'll have to do playgroup.
-Mike
cellio From: cellio Date: October 14th, 2004 09:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Mazel tov! I'm happy for you.
From: bodnej Date: October 14th, 2004 09:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Of course, if you want to take Jon's advice on how to babyproof, you only need to buy two things:

1. A baby pen. Something 6'x6' should be sufficient space.
2. A foam rubber suit for the baby for the few times that the child is allowed out of the pen.

Now, my wife isn't forward-thinking enough to let me implement my plan with my own child, but you and Seth, are hip, modern, people of the world. What do you think?
(Deleted comment)
kmelion From: kmelion Date: October 14th, 2004 10:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Mazal Tov!!!!!!!!

You also might want to consider a harness with leash thing they have for kids. There will be times he'll want out of his carriage and this is easier than pushing the carriage and holding his hand and trying to keep an eye on him.
hopeness From: hopeness Date: October 14th, 2004 10:50 am (UTC) (Link)
This is so exciting!!!! I look forward to reading all about it. I love toddlers; that was my age "specialty" when I worked in daycare. I'd love to answer any questions. When I was in school the most useful babyproofing advice we were given was this: after you've gone through the room and taken care of what logically needs to be done (i.e. move breakables, cover outlets, etc), get down on your knees and view the room from the child's perspective. You'll probably find things you've missed. Also, there is no reason you can't "babyproof" the baby. One year olds can start to learn what they are allowed to touch, and how to be careful and gentle with things like books. Obviously it isn't foolproof but you'll be suprised at how much he will be able to learn and accomplish. We don't have a very baby proof home right now but we have our friend's little boy over and he's very good at only playing with "his" toys (yup, I have no kids, but I do have a toy box). Yard sales and the like are great to get used toys from; and remember, less is more, if you have huge amounts of stuff he'll have more fun dumping out the storage containers than playing with the toys.

Whee indeed!!!
From: have_inner_lady Date: October 14th, 2004 12:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow! Wow! Yay! I'm so happy for you!
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 22nd, 2004 11:48 am (UTC) (Link)
*grin*

We're THRILLED!
glenbarnett From: glenbarnett Date: October 14th, 2004 02:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Congratulations.

Now the fun starts. :)
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 22nd, 2004 11:50 am (UTC) (Link)
no kidding. We're excited, but I'm nervous that we'll forget something important. *shrug* I figure he'll let us know pretty quickly if there's something we forgot to baby-proof.
From: jasonpollack Date: October 14th, 2004 04:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Holy schmoley is right!

This is so incredibly awesome! I'm so happy for you guys!

Jeez, it's been awhile. I hope we can talk this weekend.

Wow... :)
estherchaya From: estherchaya Date: October 22nd, 2004 11:49 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Holy schmoley is right!

Thanks guys! We tried to call you on the 14th, but didn't get you. We'll try calling you Saturday night or sometime Sunday.
From: (Anonymous) Date: October 14th, 2004 04:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

A million mazel tovs (from Leah)

A million mazel tovs! We have too much in common, we really should talk more often. You are extremely fortunate to have a baby literally find you - sans red tape - sans legal recourse - sans international law. You all are truly blessed.

Send pics - big huggs - Leah, Jason and Max.
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